Grocery Shopping Magic~Guest Post by @Mumma_Gumma

Today I have Jennifer from Mumma Gumma guest posting!  Make sure to give her a warm welcome and lots of comment love.  She describes herself as blissfully riding waves in the sea of motherhood.  She is the mom of precious baby Tommy, who turned 6 months old just last week.  Definitely head over to her blog to find out more and check her out on Twitter too. 

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Grocery Shopping Magic: How to Be In and Out of the Grocery Store in Thirty Minutes or Less


Grocery shopping is not as much fun as it used to be. In my pre-baby life, I took my time, read labels, and was picky about produce. I also used to treat myself to my favorite cheese or get fresh salmon from the butcher. Now, I do my groceries with one hand because T is usually in the other.

I never go to the grocery without a list, a budget, and a meal plan. Thanks to these tools, I'm in and out of there within thirty minutes. Here are some of my magic tricks.


Prep Work

Kitchen Central

We keep a chalk board in our kitchen. It has three columns. 'This Week's Meals', 'What We Need', and 'What We Have'. Any time we run out of something, we write it down in the 'What we Need' column. Any time we have leftovers, we write it down in the 'What We Have'. The leftovers column is great for our house. Food always gets pushed around in our fridge so I like to know what I can eat for lunch without going digging. Less waste this way, too.


Meal Plan

This doesn't have to be as complicated as it sounds. For the next two weeks, keep a pen and paper at the dinner table. Write down all the meals that you eat. You can also ask the family to participate by calling out their favorites or something they'd like to try. Before you know it, you have a long list of meal ideas. It makes meal planning much easier.

If you prefer something more elaborate, here is a list of meal planning and recipe links. http://orgjunkie.com/menu-plan-monday-guidelines/menu-planning-resources


Budget

In this economy, no one can afford to pay full price for groceries or fill their cart with impulse buys. Simply going to the grocery store with a list is an easy way to prevent unnecessary purchases. To prevent impulse buys, I always eat before I go to the grocery store. Going hungry easily leads to a cart full of chips and chocolate.

M and I set a weekly grocery budget. This does not include baby items/food or toiletries. We find that if we spend more than that allotted budget, we end up buying junk food. If you're not sure what your family's grocery budget should be, keep your grocery receipts for a month and see if you notice a pattern.


Mailers & Coupons

Every week I collect the grocery mailers that get delivered to my house. I sit down with a Sharpie marker and circle all the foods that we eat that are on sale. Then I take my list of meals and combine the two to make a meal plan for the week. From here, I start my grocery list.

Now, I wouldn't consider myself an extreme-coupon-type-person but I do like to collect coupons. Once I've made my grocery list, I check to see if I have any coupons that coincide with the weekly deals or items on my list.

Most grocery stores allow price matching. Price matching means that you can take your mailers to one store and get the sale price from another store. But you have to be organized. When I write out my grocery list I put the code 'PM' beside the item that needs to be price matched then I write a code for the grocery store. This way, when I get to the cashier, I don't feel frazzled to get the right item with the right mailer. I also write the code 'CPN' next to the items that have a coupon.

If I'm lucky, I can save an extra $10 to $20 off our bill from using coupons and price matching. Once in a while, I'll get a dirty look from a customer in line behind me or the cashier. But the joke's on them, I save money – they pay full price!


Off to the Grocery Store

Feed the Monsters
Figure out what time of the day your children are at their best. Take advantage and go to the grocery store with well rested and fed children. Talk to your kids about rewards and/or consequences before you leave. Bring snacks from home. Remember that a grocery store is a great place to teach your children about healthy choices and budgeting. Expect a few “Mommy! Can I have this?” or “Mommy, can I have that?” There's no harm in your child asking once or twice for a few 'treat' items. If they have trouble with the word 'no', reinforce the consequences you talked about before you left for the store.

Hit the grocery store first thing in the morning or after dinner. Weekends and dinner time are the busiest times for most grocery stores.


The Grand Finale

Ok, with my list, meal plan, price matches, and coupons in hand, I'm off to the grocery store. Like I said, these tools might take you a few extra minutes during the week, but will save you time, energy, and money at the grocery store.



A Few Extra Things to Note

Before you choose a check-out lane, watch the cashier. Does she chat with the customers? Does she scan slowly? Does she look happy? Young male cashiers tend to not take their job too seriously and don't care how many coupons you hand over or how much time you need from him. This is just my personal opinion.



Although most stores are great about matching the prices on the shelves with the check-out, it doesn't always work out that way. To avoid getting overcharged for items, watch the computer as your cashier scans item. Speak up if something doesn't look right.



I hope you enjoy some of my tricks – they may not quite be magical, but the time and energy they can save you, will be.

The Little Things In Life

It truly is the little things in life that make it worth living.  When I take a moment to sit back and relax my subconscious reminds me of this.

The little things I've been grateful for this week:

• Healthy Children-My daughter started feeling sick the other day all of a sudden.  Often times we live in the moment and forget to cherish the moments our children are healthy.  It all started with a sore throat when we were in Target. By time we got home she also had a headache and her skin was flush.  She ended up with a fever that jumped between 100-103 the rest of the day and into the next morning.  Thank goodness for Motrin.  It kept knocking it down.  Poor baby was up from 2 a.m. until 5:30 a.m. because she was feverish and couldn't sleep.  We snuggled together in her bottom bunk and I let her play with my phone.  Eventually the meds took hold again and she was finally able to fall asleep.

• Thoughtful small gifts-My husband knew what a rough day I was having.  Between Little Bee being sick and Goalieboy almost closing the van door on his ankle it was a long night.  When he left his second job at 10 p.m. he picked up a bouquet of flowers on the way out for me.  He said they were just "because".  So sweet.  It meant the world to me because there was no special occasion and it wasn't an "I was a jerk, I'm sorry" gift.  It blew me away. Bright, golden sunflowers to brighten my day.  I would post a picture of them but the poor things are fading away quickly.  It's the thought that counts and I'm beaming with happiness just thinking about it.

• Brother and Sister Moments-The bond between my kids when they sit back and just enjoy being with each other.  It's amazing.  My heart sings during those moments.  I love when they are being considerate of one another and respecting each other.  Those two things are so hard to teach.  They sat side by side enjoying the rare luxury of being on the computer and playing Club Penguin.  I limit computer time so it's definitely a treat here.  Many a times they'll fuss and fight over it, not wanting to share.  This time, they chatted and took turns all the while being patient with the one who was playing.  That truly deserves gold medal status.

• Helpful Hands-I love when they willingly help me out without much argument.  They've been rinsing dishes and loading them into the dishwasher without many reminders.  Goalieboy has taken on the task of cleaning up the litter boxes and wanting no help from Little Bee. I do need to prod him a bit but he does it without any grief.   He's also been taking feeding the cats more seriously.  We had a long talk about forgetting to feed them and how he would feel to be hungry and thirsty and having no way of getting food and water.  I think it finally clicked.  Setting the light bulb off in understanding, I'm slowly learning, is all in the correct approach.  What works for one child does not always work for another.

These are just a few "Little Things" in my life that I am appreciative about right now.  I'm working on not taking them for granted.  In our hectic lives I think many of us do just that.

What are some of your Little Things?

Life's Lessons

  
I'm excited to be linking up for the first time with Life's Recipe and Life with Baby Donut for Life's Lessons. 

Here's a few of the things I've learned this week:

*  Though I love when my brothers visit 10 days is a LONG time.

*  I hate when they (brothers) try to "parent' my kids.  That's my job, Thank you very much.  Your job is to
    spoil them and let me be the bad guy.  I do have everything under control, even if it doesn't look like it.  I
    I know you're just trying to help, but it drives me nuts.

*  My younger brother will never change.  He comes to visit with good intentions but rarely follows through.
     It's ok.  I have to stop getting my expectations up.

*  Though my older brother has mental/emotional handicaps my son will always show him love and respect. 
     this makes my heart sing because even my parents don't even do this.

*  My parents will always treat my older brother like a mentally challenged child even though he is smart.  It
    breaks my heart.  They're setting a bad example for my children.  I am learning to accept this too and
    show them the right way to act by my actions and talking to them openly about it.

*  A visit to the lake with friends is just what I needed after my brothers went home.  It was relaxing and fun
    for all.

*  Though Dancer Girl can be a selfish teenager at times, she loves us.  She actually sent me a text telling
     me she missed the kids while she was at her mom's house for a few days.  I know this but it did melt
     my heart.
*  My husband and I are trying hard not to let the stress of his two jobs and my feeling of single momdom
    get in the way of us.  In the past it has and we've acknowledged it and vowed to work hard at
    keeping it at bay this week.

*  Excitement about being together as a family this week on vacation.  It's been almost a year since the last
    one.  We don't have everything planned out since rain is in the forecast for the whole East Coast most of
    the week so we're taking it a few days at a time.  I'm ok with that.  I just want to relax and enjoy being
    together.  I'm going to give up some control and not stress (much) about not having concrete plans.
*  It's wonderful when my husband unexpectedly gives me flowers.  It brightened an otherwise dark day. 

*  Kids will get hurt and sick, we can get through it.  Goalieboy bruised his ankle with the van door on
    Thursday.  Little Bee came down with a virus of some sort the same day.  I spent the whole night with her
     while she battled a 103 fever.

*  Smart phone apps at 4 o'clock in the morning can be a lifesaver when your feverish, sick child can't sleep.
    She was entertained until the Motrin kicked in and she finally was able to sleep.

*  Sleepovers are lots of fun when you're kids are away spending the night torturing some other poor adult.   
    I'm thankful for this and will return the favor one day soon I'm sure.

*  And wine is a great way to enjoy a child free evening!


                 

Image by Cool Text: Free Graphics Generator -


What did you learn last week?  Care to share?

Vacation Time Is Here

So excited that my husband worked his last shift at either job last night!  Woohoo!  He won't return to work until Tuesday, August 22nd!

Today I've convinced him we should just relax and enjoy a day of nothing.  So far it's going ok but he's got an itch to use the free tickets he got to a local water park.  We'll see what happens. 

This morning for the first time in maybe forever, I got to laze in bed until 10 a.m.  I slept until 9.  It was absolutely divine!   Goalieboy was sleeping over the grandparents. Dancer Girl and Little Bee's are at friend's houses.  I actually have to get off the computer and go pick them up. I'm procrastinating.

Hubby said the sweetest things to me this morning when I woke up.  He embraced me and nestled me close to his chest.  He murmured in my ear that this will be a wonderful week for us.  We're going to have a lot of fun.  Kick back and enjoy each other.  We're going to show and tell how much we love each other.  We're going to get it on a lot...lol.  You know what I mean. 

He was so endearing.  I know he wants to get in my pants. I know TMI but it was cute.  See, he's always under a lot of work stress and I'm always going crazy juggling the kids.  We are tired and stressed out more times than we care to be around each other.  Unfortunately, sometimes that translates into major grumpiness around one another.  We tend to argue more when we've got something big coming up....vacations, holidays, birthdays, etc.  It's the added stress that gets to us.  We've vowed this time that we are slamming the NEGATIVE emotion door and just enjoying all the positives in our lives.

We still don't have an actual vacation plan.  I'm a planner by nature and it's driving me a bit batty.  But, I'm tucking it away and going to go with the flow.  I'm sure my husband will be amazed when I don't nag him about where we're going and what we're doing.

***Since we'll be off on some adventure of another this coming week I have several posts scheduled to post and a couple guest posters.  Show them some love when they stop by!

Happy Saturday everyone!!

Watching Me

I wanted to get some writing inspiration so I turned to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop this week. This is my first time joining in so please be gentle.

 I'm loving this prompt....The Police said it best when they said, "Every breath you take/And every move you make/Every bond you break, every step you take/I'll be watching you". Write about a time you believed someone was watching you.

The exact time of this memory is a bit unclear to me.  The details are fuzzy but the feeling of being watched I can still recall clear as day.

I had to be around seven or eight years old at the time.  I believe I was up late on a weekend night hanging out with my family.  It must have been late fall because I remember it being cold outside but no snow was on the ground.  I grew up in Western New York.  So, it couldn't have been wintertime if there wasn't snow or some type of frost on the ground.  I remember the air being crisp where you could see your breath if you breathed out.  I'd say it was fallm  probably just after Halloween. 

I've never really tried to think through this memory past the actual eerie feeling I had.  And being scared to death.  It's interesting to look back now and attempt to decipher the actual details.  Everything now is really an impression of what was.  No concrete details.

I can still hear the television playing quietly in the living room.  For some reason my memory places me in the laundry room of the first house I remember growing up in.  We lived there from the time I was about four until the summer I turned twelve.  It was a single level ranch house.  We had three bedrooms.  Mine was the very small.  My brothers shared a room and slept on bunk beds.  We had a decent size living room with a dinning room coming off the back of it, connecting to a small kitchen and then  a laundry room off the back.

The laundry room was small.  There was a washer and dryer lined up against one wall, the outside entrance across from them.  Next to the door was a folding table under a window.  There was a door between this room and the kitchen. It was between the wall with the washer/dryer and the outside door.

I believe I was in the laundry room because my mom had asked me to lock the back door.  Clear as day I remember walking up to that door.  I looked out the pane glass window in the door.  It was right at my eye level.  I believe there was a sheer curtain over it.  Did I lift the curtain or was I able to see through it?  I'm not quite sure.

I got this eerie feeling of being watched.  As I looked out the window I swear to this day that I saw a face in the window looking back at me.  And I mean close, as in peering in.  I saw no body, just a face.  I don't know who it was.  I don't know if it was just my imagination.  Maybe, I had just finished watching a scary movie. Those details have all faded from my memory.  All I know is I was terrified!  Those eyes stared straight into my soul.  They made me quake in fear.

I didn't scream, though I wanted to.  My instant reaction was to lturn the lock lock on the knob and slowly back away while keeping my eyes glued to the face in the window.  I don't remember ever telling my parents about it.  Maybe I did.  Odd that I can't remember that.I should ask them one of these days and find out. 

Years later, I continue to tell myself it was just a figment of my imagination.  But what if it wasn't?  What if there really was someone in our gated backyard?  My mind can't even wrap itself around that possibility.  The memory haunts me to this very day.

I have had nightmares about it ever since.  At first there were many then slowly over time they have all but gone away.  But, every once in a while I see that face peeking in the window during a cool, pitch black night and I am shaking once again.

So Thankful it's Finally Friday

The last week and a half have been wonderful, hectic and never ending!  My brothers (Uncle C and Uncle J) came in to town for a visit last Monday afternoon and stayed until this Wednesday morning.  While it was wonderful having them here I'm so glad to be getting back to our "regular" summer routine. 

As many of you know my parents live next door.  While it can be a godsend at times it's seriously not the wonderful, supportive place many may envision it to be.  It's been crazy here with my whole family, in addition to my stepdaughter, staying with us for the month. I always hope it's going to be sunshine and rainbows but it rarely is.  My parents are short on patience and quick on negative opinions.  Thankfully they're great grandparents or this would so not be worth it.

Most of the 10 days was spent with my younger brother (Uncle J) bickering with my mom or off in his own little world.  Every time he comes to visit he talks about family being important and wanting to fill up the time with fun activities with his niece and nephew.  He means well but being a bachelor he honestly doesn't quite get "it".  He stays up late taking over my mom's computer (drives her NUTS) or hogging our tv while consuming multiple beers.  Then he'll sleep in until close to noon. Oh, the joys of bachelorhood.  It really effected making plans for full days out.

My other brother (Uncle C) has mental and emotional handicaps.  He's on various meds to keep his moods stable and keep him from becoming too excitable.  He loves coming to see us.  Unfortunately, while my parents love the idea of having him visit, it seems to be too much for them.  They constantly treat him like a child.  While sometimes that's needed they tend to forget that he is quite capable.  He lives in a group home and has many responsibilities.  It became frustrating and sometimes heartbreaking to listen to them.  They would shush him, tell him to sit down, don't do this, don't do that.  I understand it's a fine line and sometimes action needs to be taken but there are better ways to handle situations.  Little Bee picked up on it really quick.  When he would interrupt her or ramble on and on she would shush him too.  She wasn't trying to be mean but she was mimicking the adults that should know better.  I pulled her aside and talked to her about it.  I told her how to nicely let him know that she was trying to talk or how to cue him that he was getting carried away.  I don't want her to treat anyone the way my parents treated my older brother.  My heart breaks for him when he's here because he's lost in his own world at times and he just really wants everyone to talk to him and to be the (positive) center of attention.  It's a tough situation to be in the middle of most times.

On the bright side...we did have some fun days out.  One day we spent at a local park.  It has a large pond that we decided to picnic by.  I spread out the blanket and relaxed with Dancer Girl while the kids skipped rocks and their uncles watched.  It was the perfect day.  We also spent a day hiking a beautiful park.   You must look at these beautiful pictures.  The lake was picturesque and everyone had a great time.  I can't wait to take the kids again.  We spent another day at a different park enjoying the lake, beach, swimming and soaking up the sun.  The kids loved it!  Uncle J decided not to go that time because he's not much of a beach person.

We also hiked back and forth to the ice rink three different times.  It's about 70 minutes each way.  I loved that Goalieboy's uncles got to watch him play.  He participated in two goalie clinics and a three on three.  Uncle J got into it and took numerous videos to show my husband who wasn't able to attend any of the days because of his second job.

In between all that we also had two days of gymnastics and some rainy days.  On the rainy days we watched movies, played board games and pigged out on junk food.  Absolutely perfect in my opinion!

One of the best days for the kids though was when their Uncle J took them out to shop for their birthday presents.  For their birthdays (Early June and Late July) he sent them both a card with some cash.  He told them in addition to that he would take them out shopping when he came to visit.  Goalieboy picked out some Hexbugs and accessories.  Little Bee got this Tea Cup Piggie and accessories.  After that he treated them to the lunch of their choice...Taco Bell.  That day was a huge hit!  They really loved having special time alone time with him.  He said they were very well behaved.  I was proud and impressed, to say the least.

After they left on Wednesday we treated ourselves to another afternoon at the lake with friends.  It was perfect.  Unfortunately, I think we all got a little burned even though I slathered us with sunblock numerous times.  Poor Little Bee felt sick late this afternoon.  I think she might have caught something while swimming.  She had a low grade fever, stuffy nose, headache and sore throat.  I gave her some meds and put her to bed early tonight.  Hopefully she feels better tomorrow  (today actually).  We are definitely going to chill after the busyness of the past week and a half. 

Thankfully, come Saturday my hubby is on vacation.  I'm still not sure what we're doing.  But I do know this...we're definitely going to enjoy being together as a family!  I hope we'll have time to relax a bit together too.

So, I'm extremely THANKFUL and grateful it's FINALLY FRIDAY!  Happy FANTABULOUS Friday everyone!

Nature's Amazing Beauty ~Wordless Wednesday~

The perfect day to hike around a beautiful lake and breath in Mother Nature's beauty.

Bathroom Etiquette or Lack Thereof

Nasty, dirty bathrooms are a pet peeve of mine.  It's disgusting!  I can't stand the grossness of public bathrooms.  I don't understand how people can be so rude and inconsiderate.  Pee and toilet paper on the floor.  Unflushed toilets.  Gross, gross, gross!  Do their bathrooms at home look like this? 

I have a feeling their bathrooms are not quite so bad.  But, there's got to be a connection there somewhere.  And their laziness and inconsideration seeps over into public restrooms but in a much bigger way.  I get the heebee geebees going into most public bathrooms.

I've taught my kids well on bathroom etiquette.  They know to always put the toilet paper in the toilet.  They flush and put the seat down at home.  When out in public they know to quickly do their business without touching anything, flush with their foot and wash their hands thoroughly.  All without causing any mess they'd have to clean up.

Believe it or not all this is just a set up for the real meaty part of my post.  If you'd like to read a great post about public restrooms head over to Bees With Honey.  She tells it like it is.  We all know public restrooms are gross.  Hopefully, we have all taught our children proper bathroom usage and hold them accountable.  This post is about behind the scenes in MY home, when follow through doesn't happen.  Watch where you walk, it could get dangerous!

Let me first start by saying it's not just the young that are sometimes oblivious to the rules of the bathroom.  Some of the biggest offenders are daddies and teenagers.  Let's be honest.  The hubbies are always running out the door early in the morning and don't pay attention to their surroundings through blurry eyes.  Mine works long hours, 2 jobs and is usually up by 3:30 a.m. and home sometime between 5 and 10:30 p.m.  His nighttime rituals can be just as chaotic as his morning ones.  The teenager is oblivious to others.  Ironic that if someone else has the same bathroom etiquette it grosses them out but they don't see the wake they leave behind. I have to admit that while gross, I bet there are worse scenarios out there than mine.  For that I am truly grateful, but I'm still grossed out.

I try hard to give the hubby a pass in the morning and on the nights he comes home really late.  I try not to let it drive me nuts.  But honestly...it does!  I'm the one left (most times) to clean up in his wake.  Sometimes I want to cry.  Other times scream.  And many times both, while jumping up and down.  Come on, get with the program!  They're are little eyes that monitor everything you do.  They mimic you in so many more ways than you realize or comprehend.

His transgressions:

• Toothpaste in the sink
• Toothpaste on the counter and on the mirror.
• Drenched Wet towels left on the floor (or put wet in our bedroom laundry hamper)
• Clothes left on the floor after shower (He does always pick them up, eventually.)
• Flooded Wet floor from not making sure the curtain is tucked in.
• Flooded Wet floor from taking a bath (yes he does) and sloshing water onto the floor
• Shower curtain untucked or half open.  (Yes, I'm particular with this one.)
• Leftover shaving "remnants" in the sink...hair stubble, shaving creams (Gross!)
• Not emptying an obviously overflowing garbage can and adding more to it.
• Peeing on the seat or floor in the middle of the night.

The teenager is here for the month of August.  Love her!  But in true teenage fashion she is careless and oblivious to how her actions effect others.  Normally not an issue because she's only her one night every other week.  Now it's a bit gross.  Not horribly gross.  I'm sure it might be worse if she was a boy.  But then again, I could be wrong.  I fear as she gets more comfortable it could get worse.  So far, she cleans up her hair products and cosmetics.  That gives her huge bonus points.

Her transgressions:

• Leaving wet towel from hair on bedroom floor (Better than bathroom floor?  Maybe.)
• Hair and soap scum in the shower drain. (This is by far the most gross thing...even worse than pee, I think.)
• Hair on the floor and in the sink

The kids seem to pattern after the older residents in the house.  But they do listen well and go back and clean up when I point it out to them.  I try to keep it positive.  When the bathroom looks good I try to tell them.  Positive reinforcement can go a long way to fixing problems.  They're hit and miss right now.  Overall, the boy is worse than the girl on follow through.  We'll keep working on it.

Their transgressions:

• Toothpaste in the sink.
• Toothpaste splatter on mirror and counter top.
• Toothbrushes not fully rinsed off.
• Soap "bubbles" left in tub (Way too much body wash and/or shampoo).
• Clothes left on bathroom floor.
• Wash cloth on tub floor.
• Towel not hung up (I just ask them to remember to have an adult help them).
• Peeing on the toilet seat or floor.
• Body wash/shampoo not put away or left upside down to drip over tub.
• Shower curtain not tucked in.

The good news...they don't do this disgusting stuff out in public or while visiting friends.  I'm trying to concrete the point that I'm not a maid.  It's their responsibility to clean up after themselves.  The toothpaste things drives me CRAZY!  It's not hard to rinse it out of the sink.  And if you pay attention you can avoid getting it on counter and/or mirror.  The pee on the floor thing is beyond gross.  I understand at night aim is off and it's dark because you don't want to turn on the light.  You need to check in the morning and wipe up area with the Lysol Wipes under the cabinet.  It's not hard to do.  And, you need to listen to your bladder.  If it tells you to go, Go!  Don't wait.  That's when you tinkle on the floor because you can't get your pants down quick enough.  You're old enough to know better.  Clean up after yourself please.  And the most disgusting thing is the hair in the drain.  I clean up mine.  God, there are days I swear I'm going bald because there's so much in there!  But once I'm all dried off, I use a tissue and clean it out.  Gross, but it's my responsibility.  I now have to delicately brooch this subject with the teenager.  I hope she doesn't get sensitive about it.  I cleaned it up at least twice this week.  I won't be doing it again.  It makes me want to hurl.  *Gag* Ick!

I have to admit, it's getting better.  Towels are hung up, less water on the floor, sinks occasionally wiped clean.  I'm going to focus my efforts on dry floors, hairless tub drain and rinsed sink for now.  I hope my efforts pay off.  Pray that I don't lose my ever loving mind in the process!


Do you have bathroom pet peeves?  What rules do you have for bathroom etiquette in your house?



***This post was inspired after the whole hair in the drain thing.  I find "blog therapy" to be both calming, inspirational and insightful before I tackle issues head on with delicacy and aplomb.  Also, I love when others can relate so I know it's not just me with these crazy feelings.

Fantabulous Friday!

So happy that Friday is finally here! Happy Fantabulous Friday everyone! Here's a list of fantabulous happenings from my week:

1. My brothers are here for a ten day visit!

2. My son had a great two day goalie clinic. He's learning a lot.

3. My stepdaughter has moved in with us for the month of August.

4. We had a fantastic picnic at the park yesterday complete with skipping rocks in the pond.

Little Bee is looking for rocks to skip.  Seriously, but I swear she is ready to dive in.

5. Relaxing pool playdate with a mommy friend. I love those because the kids play great together and I can kick back and chat with no worries.

6. Fun times at gymnastics with my girl.

7. Spending the day at Balloon Fest with the family. Even if it was too hot and I wanted to pass out.

8. Stopping at my favorite grocery store (Wegmans) on the way back and shopping. I love this store and we try to include it in a trip at least three or four times a year.

9. At the lake today enjoying fun in the sun! Kids are playing in the sand and swimming. Perfect family day minus daddy. I wish he could be here.

Perfect day for a day at the lake.  Look at those gorgeous clouds.

10.  Tonight we're dong movie night.  A couple DVDs, popcorn and ice cream.  Yum!

I hope you're all having a fantabulous Friday too!

What did you do this week?

So Happy It's Thursday~Link up

My friend Rustilyn over at My Life As an Officer's Wife started a fantastic new link up for Thursday's called...get this S.H.I.T.  As in So Happy It's Thursday!  As soon as I seen it I knew it was something I had to do.

So without further ado here are my reasons for S.H.I.T.:

1.  Only one more day until it's FRIDAY!

2.  My son has another goalie clinic tonight...we love watching him learn more and grow as a player.

3.  I'm going to make brownies!

4.  By tonight I will be done with laundry until Monday (I refuse to do any this weekend!).

5.  My stepdaughter has no dance classes so we will have major family bonding time.  Yippee!

6.  If the rain holds off we're going to do a picnic in the park.

There's my S.H.I.T. list in a nutshell.  Looking at it makes me smile!

Change Is Here

August is here and with it a major change to our household.  It's a welcome change, even if only temporary.  For the first time ever, Dancer Girl (my 17 year old stepdaughter) will be living with us for the whole month.  We were so excited when her mother called a few weeks ago to talk to us about it.

When her mom called my hubby she told him that since this is the last summer before DG turns eighteen she wanted her to spend quality time with us.   She wanted them to strengthen their father/daughter bond.  I'm all for that and was so excited!  I never thought I'd see the day come. I am grateful she is giving us this opportunity.  This is what memories are made of.


Before hubby and I got together (almost 11 years ago) they had spent a portion of two summers together.  When we got together our schedules were crazy and we lived six hours away.  We moved closer but unfortunately didn't have any child care so we settled for every other weekend during the summertime too and any additional time we could get.  For me, it's honestly never been enough.

I think it's great that his ex is thinking about their relationship and how it could change once DG is done with school.  It's thoughtful of her to want them to cement their bond.

We've been very fortunate that she still chooses to spend every other (sometimes more) Saturday and Sunday here.  I feel honored.  Time is short and every moment is important.

I'm hoping this will bring the two of them closer together.  They always have fun but my husband is afraid to commit his emotions.  Does that make sense?  He's told me before that he feels like a part time dad with no say.  I think this comes from DG having a full time male "role model" in her life via her mom's common law husband.  They've been together since she was 4.  Right before around the time hubby and her split.  I think he's afraid to get too close, feel too much.  I think it hurts his heart.  This month could really make a huge impact on their relationship.

My kids are over the moon.  They have a hard time understanding why DG can't be here more often.  It breaks their heart when she leaves.  Also, being a teenager, she sometimes chooses hanging out with her friends over them.  This month will bring them closer together.

I think it'll be wonderful for her to get a more intimate look at how our family "runs" on a daily basis.  Up until now she's only caught glimpses.  The longest she's ever stayed has been about 10 days.  Hopefully we don't all drive each other nuts.  {Laughing}  Who am I kidding?  We're a family that's stubborn, outspoken and very loving.  We always drive each other crazy.  She's just going to be in the midst of it more.  I'm hoping that will draw her in closer.  I want her to feel like she belongs....in my heart, she has always belonged.

My heart always aches when she has to leave.  It feels torn out when plans change and she doesn't come.  I get hurt when she chooses her friends over us.  I'm not afraid to admit it. 

I have friends who are not in my shoes that say, "She's just being a teenager".  I understand but they don't/can't comprehend where I'm coming from.  I know this is the same exact feeling I'm going to get with my own biological children.  For me there's no difference in being a mom or stepmom.  It's being a mom plain and simple.  That's just me. I always want my kids with me.  I want them to put famiy first, even if it's not always realistic.

 I love that she's with us.  I hope this time will bond all of us deeper and help us grow tighter as a family.

I love that she feels comfortable coming to me and asking for advice.  It makes my heart swell.  I feel trusted and loved.  We had an in depth conversation about boys, friendships, relationships and more.  I feel honored that she would confide things to me and want my thoughts on the matters. 

I want August to be a time of family bonding.  I pray we all get stronger family ties out of this time.  I hope it will bring us all closer. 

I fear for the end of this time.  I know it's gong to break my heart.  This is a gift I've been craving for so long.  In my heart, she has always been my first child.  I'm looking forward to creating lifetime memories with her this month.

Goalie Mom *Wordless Wednesday*

Being a goalie mom is hard work.  The hockey goalie position is probably the most expensive position in all of sports.  It may also be the smelliest.



Gotta air it out somehow. All the sweaty stench is ripe and he's only 9! Heaven helps me when he's a teenager! It might just kill me then.

A Few of My Favorite Things

I love singing to my kids at bedtime.  As they get older it doesn't happen quite as much.  Little Bee will talk my ear off about all the wonderful things that happened that day and my son is a typical nine year old boy not caring for it quite anymore.  How I long for those days where we would all snuggle in bed together and sing with one another.  I miss those days.  My heart aches for them.

My daughter still loves me singing to her or singing along with me when we can fit it in at the end of a long day.  Sometimes I will stretch her bedtime routine out just to do so.  Tonight was one of those nights.  One of our favorite songs is "My Favorite Things" sang by Julie Andrews in the movie "The Sound of Music".  How we love the music in that movie.

Today we sang it several times together before I asked her the things that make her sad and what are a few of her favorite things.  Here's her list:

Sad things:

Cat scratches
Boo boos
Fighting with her brother
Mommy and Daddy being mad or yelling at her
Flying bugs annoying her (I laughed at this one because they were pestering her outside earlier when she wanted to practice her cartwheels.)

Favorite Things:

My Family
Playing with the cats
Snuggling with Mommy
Bedtime with Daddy...tickle wars
Playing games with her brother
Her sister spending time with her and letting her play on her phone & I-pod. (Oh technology!)
Her Uncles visiting her (they're coming next week!)
Her Toys
Shopping (Oh boy, I'm in TROUBLE!)

Her list was L-O-N-G....
It went on
and on
and on
and on...
until I had to end the fun and tuck her in for the night.  Part of her was having fun with it, the rest was stalling off the inevitable.

After tucking her into bed I went into Goalieboy's room where he was reading a Roscoe Rules book.  He was reading and he liked it...SCORE!  Reading is a constant struggle with him so I celebrate when he finds a book (especially a series) that he will read.  I'm hoping this streak continues.

He didn't want to go to bed (of course) but wanted me to lay with him.  He has a lot of trouble falling asleep at night this last year.  Lots of anxiety and worries for a child so young.  He didn't want to sing with me or have me sing to him but I was pretty persuasive.  In the end he even joined me.  Victory!  My sweet little boy is still inside the tween he's becoming.  I then proceed to ask him what made him sad and what made him happy.  He was very precise, so neither list was long but heartfelt.

Sad things:

His fish dying (I wanted to cry.  It's been weeks but it still haunts him.)
Mommy and Daddy being mad at him
Little Bee "beating him up"

Favorite things:

Family
Playing with Little Bee
Hockey
Wii
DS
Electronics


Looking at their list of favorite things I am very proud that family comes first.  We all agree that we are nothing without family.  The primary sad things centered around family too...upsetting or fighting.  Those are definitely things to be sad about and things we can all work on together.  I look at these lists and even though some of the sad things are really sad they are okay.  I am proud of my kids and just looking at their lists I see that they're priorities are straight and the rest of the things are age appropriate.  I love them with all my heart.





Here is a list of some of my favorite things:

My family
Time with my husband
Happy kids
Weekends with my stepdaughter (Dancer Girl)
Peace and quiet
No arguing
My friends-Supportive and Fun
Books
Ice Cream
Brownies
Wine
Blogging
Twitter

My sad things:

My kids disappointing me (fighting, not listening)
My husband working two jobs and long days
My husband making many sacrifices to keep a roof over our heads
Being unemployed
Little time to spend with Dancer Girl
Not being able to do or give my kids more
Not being able to go on a fun vacation with my family
Not always being a tolerable person (as in I get upset and frustrated easily at times)

I'm okay with my lists.  My family is and will always be my top priority through thick and thin.  I am who I am because of them.  They keep me going and I'm proud of each and every one of them.  I will move heaven and Earth for them. My sad things are unavoidable.  I'm working hard to change the things I can and accept the things I can't.  The important thing for me is to focus on being happy as a family and keep making changes for the better.

What are a few of your favorite things?

Tooth Fairy Nightmares

Holy shit, I almost forgot the tooth fairy was visiting last night! Is it just me or can she be a royal pain in the buttocks?! Seriously man, she's ruined many a nights sleep for me. Good thing I'm an insomniac and usually remember to take care of it before its too late.

This time it took 3 (yes 3!) nights to get it right. It fell out at the dinner table when Little Bee was eating a hot dog. She begged to take it next door to show grandma and grandpa. She brought it back 5 minutes later only to realize she totally forgot to show grandpa. So, back next door it went. We didn't realize until bedtime the tooth did not make the return trip. Little Bee begged to go get it but I was firm in my no.

Mean mommy, right? She didn't understand that she was in her pjs and it was dark out. Wasn't happening. She even tried batting her eyes at me. I'm impervious to that trick. Nice try chicky.

The next morning she went next door bright and early to get it. I foolishly assumed she had put it in her room, perhaps under her pillow.

Picture this....
Next morning. She comes down to eat breakfast. Halfway through she announces she forgot to see if the tooth fairy left her any money. Oh fuck! Was the first thing to come to mind. I had totally forgotten. A string of curses flew through my head. Dammit! Shit! How the heck was I getting out of this mess?!

I made small talk as my brain raced to find a solution. I decided my best bet was to head upstairs as if I was going to use the bathroom. I silently stopped by my purse and pick up the loot. Her room is next to the bathroom so I figured I could tiptoe carefully in, palm the tooth and leave the money behind.

Easy peasy, right? Wrong! I was sweating bullets. That tooth wasn't to be found. I checked under the pillows, threw back the bedding, ransacked the top of her dresser and the top drawer. Fuck! Nothing. I finally gave up, tiptoed back into the bathroom (our house is old and you can hear EVERYTHING) and innocently called out..."Where'd you put your tooth honey? I'll see if she left you anything.". Why couldn't this fairy be real? I wouldn't be ready to lose it at that moment.

She told me on her bookcase. I had checked there but I checked again. Still nothing. "Are you sure?" I know I had to be sounding desperate. She wanted to come up but I told her she had to finish her breakfast. I double, triple checked everywhere before giving up and trudging defeatedly back downstairs. Obviously this was a battle I wasn't going to win. I figured I'd play the "tooth fairy was extra busy last night and she'll be here tonight." trick. I hate that one. Causes too many questions.

She charged upstairs once she was done. But guess what? She couldn't find it either. Great. Now what was I going to come up with to appease a 7 year old. Where was that stupid tooth hiding? I knew if couldn't have grown feet and walks away. She looked high and low. Then she decided to check downstairs. She swore then that the put it on top of the cabinet. Nope, not there.

Thank goodness she has an awesome mommy like me though because guess what? I found it. Where you may ask? On the floor right in front of said cabinet. It's a tiny thing so I'm amazed I seen it.

We immediately took it upstairs. I gave a little woven basket we typically use to put teeth in so I got it out of my room. The tooth went in, the lid went on and I put it on her bookcase. Now everything was good to go.

Until I almost forgot about it. Real swift Mom. I'm in bed trying to fall asleep, tossing and turning. Typically insomnia. All of a sudden out of the blue it hits me that I totally forgot the fairy was coming. I guess this was one time to be grateful for being restless.

I quietly slipped out of bed, grabbed the money and left the bedroom. No sense in waking the hubby. Quiet as a mouse I went into her room, removed the tooth and put the money inside. Something doesn't seen right though. Of course not. Nothings easy with this tooth. It's cursed I tell you. Inside the basket I see a small crumpled up piece of paper. Little Bee has a penchant for notes. I slip into the bathroom to read it. One side has a cute stick figure drawing of the tf (tooth fairy) and a smiley face. The other side says....Can I keep the tooth? Yes or No?

Are you kidding me?! Hell no! I've earned this dang tooth and I'm keeping it!

*****

By the way...She showed the note to Grandma and said, I don't know how she was able to lift that heavy pencil to circle No. Fairies are really tiny. She kills me! She's quite a funny character and I wouldn't have it any other way.

http://jugglingactcalledlife.blogspot.com/2011/07/tooth-fairy-nightmares.html

Housework and Mommy Guilt

Looking around my house today I feel a bit overwhelmed and guilty.  What I'm talking about is mommy guilt.  You know that feeling when you have everything in a delicate balance and then you trip and all your balls go flying everywhere?  Yep, that's what I'm dealing with.  It's tough to balance being a wife, mom and woman.  It's even tougher to balance all the fringe jobs and I'm not even talking about working moms.  They are Gods unto themselves  I can vouch because once upon a time I was one of "them". 

I look back and wonder how the hell I did it!  I must have been high on insomnia because I use to run around with my head chopped off rushing here, there and everywhere.  I was a salaried retail manager working insanely long hours, often times 6 days a week.  Somehow I got it all done.  Or at least that's my perception now.  Sometimes I feel like I may have even done it better. I think my brain likes to lay on the Mommy Guilt THICK! Then again, that was almost two years ago when only one of my kids was in elementary school.  It definitely gets crazier as they get older between school, homework, activities and friends.  I didn't have as much kid juggling to do back then.  Now the time and energy I put into that is the time and effort I once put into a full time paying job.  Sidenote: Why doesn't this mommy gig pay?  How crazy is that?!  This unemployed stay at home mommy gig is exhausting and oftentimes thankless.  At least at work I got a paycheck and the occasional pat on the back. I even occasionally got a break.   However, I wouldn't change this for the world.  I love the time I'm getting with my kids and I'll be lost when I do eventually find a job.  I think they'll be a little lost too.

However, as I look around my living room right now, I feel the mommy guilt building up.  Like I said it's a delicate balance that includes all the fringe jobs.  The ball I drop quite often is housework.  Honestly, I hate it.  Please, please tell me you do too.  It would really make me feel better.  I feel guilty when I see other people's houses that look totally well put together and organized.  Tell me it's all a facade and all their clutter is piled up in the closets and tucked under the bed.  I want that clean, organized, uncluttered look but it's hard to find and even harder to maintain.

Things just find their way here when my back is turned.  I clear it off and within a few minutes days other things appear.

If you're anything like me your house is the cleanest when compay is coming.  It stresses me the hell out though...like I'm on a mission aginst the clock and the punishment will be instant judgement on my housekeeping skills  I'm lucky enough that I believe most of my friends are not like this, but still the anxiety is there.

I have to say though that I feel better after I run crazy through the house before guests arrive. I feel a sense of peace.  Seriously, once I've made the time to de-clutter and clean up I feel so much better.  Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  My house isn't really "dirty" it's just cluttered. Ok, I will confess I hate to dust so that's rarely done unless company's coming or one of the kids offer to do it.  I don't mind sweeping, mopping or vacuuming but they're all hard with my neck/shoulder issue.  It's the back and forth motion that kills me, plus the vacuum is heavy to lug around.  I sweep every day (3 or 4 times) but I only mop or vacuum once every week or two depending on what condition the floors are in.  Goalieboy said he would start helping with the vacuuming but so far that hasn't actually happened.  I'm going to get on him about that tomorrow.  Wish me luck.

Our mail area...most of it is in the blue totes. This spot drives me nuts because I don't know how to get rid of it.

The clutter is killing me.  It's not horrible, horrible but it's an eye sore.  We have a very old house (1890's) and it's not big (once was but converted to a 2 family decades ago).  There are no closets outside the ones in the bedrooms.  It kills me!  I have a shoe rack by the door for mine and hubby's shoes.  The kids each have an over the door shoe holder.  I have a toy chest in the entryway where I put miscellaneous things in and my son's smelly hockey bag goes on top of it.  I can't put it in the basement or my cats will pee on it.  Ewww...I know it's disgusting.  I also have a small armourer I put things in, especially when I de-clutter.  It's like my junk drawer but it's a (mostly organized) cabinet.  The worse area for us is the divider wall (between our living room and "entryway").  That's where everything ends up.  It's a collect all space...mail, paperwork, school work and odds and ends the kids leave lying around.  It kills me. 

The toy chest with Goalieboy's smelly equipment on top.  Where can I hide this thing?!

Seriously, I would kill for a couple closets...one in the entryway and another in the upstairs hallway.  It's pitiful.  Is anyone else singing my toon right now?  Do you feel my pain?  I feel guilty when I pass up tidying  up everyday to spend time with the kids.  I feel guilty when I go de-clutter crazy and it gets in the way of doing things with the kids.  I'll feel a little less guilty in September because I'll try to keep up on it when they're in school.  But seriously, I hate choosing cleaning over the kids. 

It's  delicate balance but I'm getting better at ignoring the guilt and living for the moment.  The clutter, dishes, laundry and dirty floors will ALWAYS be there no matter what I do but my kids will only be young once.  It's becoming my mantra and when I chat it I always feel better. 

***Please tell me I"m not alone***

Dropping the Balls by Guest Poster Babe_Chilla of Chill Mama Chill

Today I am welcoming Babe_Chilla from Chill Mama Chill.  This is how she describes herself on her blog:

I'm a brand new mama just trying to figure out how to raise my sassy little girl without losing my pretty little mind. I'm real, I'm honest and I don't sugar coat this thing called motherhood. I'm Babe_Chilla, and I'm trying to keep my cool throughout the formative years of my child's life through breathing, eating cupcakes and blogging my heart out. 
Also, if you're on Twitter she's a must follow.  Her tweets are real, relateable and oftentimes hilarious.  Check her out here.

*****
Whenever I am offered the opportunity to do a guest post, I take it. Both because I like to hear myself speak in any avenue available to me, and because I know how hard it can be to fill your guest poster slots. The problem is I am always quick to jump at the opportunity, but slow to deliver on my promise. I could make a million excuses as to why, but the honest truth is simply that I have too many balls in the air too.


So when I was asked to do a guest post here at Juggling Act…Called Life, I thought “I can TOTALLY do that!” Right, I mean, this blog is ABOUT having too many balls in the air, so how could I fail?

Well, I fail by having too many balls in the air. See first I picked my week based on when I thought I might have enough downtime to really focus on an amazing topic. And then I didn’t write it down and the week just snuck right up on me (like hello, when the FUCK did it become the end of July?). Then, I realized that I have the most active 16 month old girl on the planet, and that there is rarely a moment of downtime, unless you count the chores that need doing when she’s finally sleeping (and not refusing to nap as usual). Add to that the fact I work a very busy, full-time job and sometimes require sleep and well, it has fail written all over it. Oh and did I mention that as I was sitting down to crank this post out, my entire computer imploded and I had to waste an ENTIRE day of work watching my tech guy try and fix it? Oh the failure.

Even now, as I am writing this, you can see that I haven’t really yet picked a topic. I am sort of hoping for some organic growth to spew forth from these fingers. I mean, it happens on my own blog ALL THE TIME, so why not here? No but really, this is a guest post and I’m supposed to be putting my best work forward.

Fail again.

So now that you’ve been introduced to just how random I am, let’s see if I can actually take this somewhere meaningful.

We can talk more about juggling. Not the actual act of juggling because I can NOT figure that one out. I mean sure, give me 2 balls and I can probably throw them around in a circle, but add a third and it’s floorsville. And while I tend to pride myself on being an expert multitasker, I have to say adding a small human to one’s life really shakes up your ability to do such things. I used to be ON THE BALL, I was at the top of my game, I could do ANYTHING. I was the type of person who would basically complete an entire day’s tasks before my husband even got out of bed in the morning. I WAS AWESOME ::toots own horn::

When I got pregnant, I never ever slowed down. I was lucky. I didn’t get sick. I didn’t get tired. And I barely got fat. I had energy and the ability to see my feet right up until the very end. I cooked, I cleaned, I shopped, I worked. I hung with friends until the wee hours of the morning, I put together a nursery. I was already kicking so much ass at mothering, it was impossible to foresee the future challenges. How much harder could this really be? I mean, I take care of everything and everyone all the time anyway, so adding another person to the mix will just mean a little more time to do things.

How fucking naïve are all us new pregnant people anyway?

Turns out my daughter had a different plan altogether. At 36 weeks and 6 days, the little monkey FLIPPED from the head down position she’d been in ALL the pregnancy long, to Frank breech. You have GOT to be kidding I thought. I figured I could flip her (you know, because I can do ANYTHING), and the list of things I tried to do so is endless. I did everything from a painful and awful ECV (or “version”) to standing on my hands in the pool every day for 3 weeks. Chiro, acupuncture, ice packs on the top, warm compresses on the bottom, hanging upside down from my couch, the list goes on. I DID IT ALL. In the end, nothing helped and we made the difficult decision to have a c-section.

Do you know what that DOES to you? It cuts open your abdomen (d’uh obviously you know that). And do you know what having a cut open abdomen and a very small human does? It eliminates your ability to DO IT ALL. Fuck, it eliminated my ability to do anything.

That was my first lesson. In those first 3 weeks after having my daughter, my husband was home from work and he had to do everything. I know some people bounce back from their c-sections easily, but not me. Even on Day 9, when I just HAD TO get out of the house so we went for a walk, I was in pain and I bled from my incision. Breastfeeding was not only a HUGE struggle in the beginning but it was also VERY painful when my uterus would contract. I couldn’t even get up to use the toilet without my husband lifting me from the bed. He did all the diapers, he did all the cooking and he did all the cleaning. I only fed and snuggled my daughter. And while that was (and still is) the MOST important thing in my life, I couldn’t help but feel like I was failing. I wasn’t used to being cared for. All I could do was think about what I should be doing. How could I let him do everything while I just sat there? When could I get back to doing it all?

The short answer was never.

We are 16 months into this parenting thing and I don’t think I’ll ever be the person I once was. To be honest, I don’t want to be her. That person stressed too much about getting it all done right, and missed out on some simple joys. That person put pressure on herself to accomplish irrelevant things in unrealistic time frames, and never revel in her successes anyway. That person didn’t take the time to appreciate all that she had; because she was too busy trying to get more.

These days, the house is a fucking disaster at all times. 11 minutes after it’s been fully cleaned, my little hurricane rips through and systematically dismantles it. The laundry sits in piles of clean and dirty, and is only ever folded when I desperately need the “clean” hamper for dirty clothes. There are food bits all over the floor (which the dog and baby fight over), and I honestly can’t tell you the last time my bedroom was actually clean. The car is beyond disgusting, which happens when your daughter is a master at removing the lids from her snack traps and also loves to say “uh oh”. I frequently go days without a shower because I can’t be bothered to deal with my hair and I am a far cry from the fashionista I used to claim to be.

In the end, none of that matters because those hours I used to spend obsessing about keeping on top of things are now better spent with my daughter. I no longer lay awake making mental lists of all the tasks I need to do, in order of priority and cross referenced by time allotment. No, now I lay awake thinking about our future and what that brings. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, it doesn’t matter as long as we’re together.

These days, I am constantly dropping my juggling balls, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
 

My Feisty Girl (T-R-O-U-B-L-E)

I have to tell you my 7 year old daughter gives me a run for my money...daily! She is chock full of stubbornness, feistiness and pure gumption. In other words, piss and vinegar. There I said it. Funny thing is she's also sweet, loving, kind and empathetic (though not in this time). She can be as sweet as an angel or as evil as the devil. She drives me crazy at times (honestly, both my kids do) but I wouldn't have it any other way. The traits that push me to the brink of sanity now will be her saving grace when she gets older. She's in the process of learning how to use them properly and if she uses them for good instead of evil she will go a long way in life. I have faith that she will.


All that being said I just have to share some interesting tidbits that have come out of her cute little mouth the last week or so.

First off...remember that prehistoric bug I posted a picture of here? If so then you remember her reaction to it after grandpa swatted it off the tarp. She took a stick to that disgusting thing. When she was done bits and pieces of it were mashed into the grass. Ick! Ironic that she loves most bugs (see my post here). I was partly proud and partly grossed out. She took glee in smashing it. A bit twisted I think. She was proud that she smooshed it. Good thing I know that is not her overall personality. I was like, "It's dead honey, you can stop now.". I believe she liked the fact that she wasn't creeped out by it and I was. It was the thing nightmares are made of. I think the "boy" in her came to the surface at that point. My husband swears that there are times she acts more like a boy than our son. No knocks on him but as I said, she's feisty. She stands up for herself and what she believes in. She is rough and tumble when needed and defends herself well. It's a little misguided at times but we try hard to keep her on track. Thinking back I do laugh out loud. You have to picture this pretty, tiny little girl who barely weighs 37 lbs wet beating this little insect with a stick. It's too much.

We were all sitting around the table Sunday afternoon during lunch and she's telling her Daddy about it. She's like, "Daddy, bugs don't scare me. If I see them I'll punch them in the face and smoosh their brains.". Oh my god, I think his eyes popped out of his head. I think he was stunned and proud of her funny candor all at once. She just went on and on because we all busted out laughing.

It all started because there was a fly in the house and it was annoying her. She told him (daddy) not to worry that she would just punch it in the head so it would stop. I'm sure to some this seems a bit psychotic but you need to hear and see to understand. She's really playing to her audience. When we laugh, snicker or give her that "what is wrong with you" look she just embellishes more. She is a character. She definitely takes after daddy with her warped sense of humor. Dancer girl (my stepdaughter) was just laughing her pants off. I tell you the girls are just like daddy. They like to get people to laugh and will find the way that works best for their audience.

I'm telling you this girl is going to be a handful. Um, well she kinds already is but I'm in denial. Well maybe not since I just admitted to it. She's got the looks and the personality. She is already trying out the bat your eyes at a boy trick. She tries it with daddy and sometimes it works. She claims it works on her boy friends at school. She is precocious and sweet. She's tough as nails. I pity any boy she sets her sights on or any boy that sets his sights on her. Poor thing is going to be in for the ride of his life...I sure hope it's a good one.

I'm going to change her name to T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!

Hang on tight it's going to get wild around here!! Be afraid, be very afraid because I sure am.

My Birthday Boy's Birth Story

I sit here thinking back to 9 years ago when my oldest was born. It was such an amazing day. I was both nervous and scared to be bring a new life into the world. I hoped and prayed I would be a good mom. I was terrified of the unknown from birth on. I was so scared about going into labor. The only thing that overrode my fears was the fact that I could not wait to meet the amazing child I had growing inside my body.

I'm still amazed I even willingly got pregnant. I swore I would never have a baby. Not because I didn't like children but because I was terrified of pain, needles and the thought of pushing a baby out of my va-jayjay. I liked kids well enough. I babysat A LOT from the time I was 11 until 16. I figured one day, far down the road I would probably adopt. My husband changed my mind easily. I was eager to create a new life that was part of both of us. I sucked it up and got through all the tests, the needles, the poking, the prodding and exposing myself monthly (then weekly) to doctors. Somehow, even after everything, I'm still modest and hate being check out "down there". Funny I know but that's just me.

I suffered all day morning sickness from the very moment I realized I was pregnant. I got violently ill right before Thanksgiving and I just knew. My husband had to work Thanksgiving morning so I ran to the local CVS to buy a pregnancy test and a card that read Congratulations You're a Father! Thanksgiving dinner was just the two of us because we had no family nearby at the time. It was a disaster because my (first ever) turkey wouldn't cook. So we just ate sides for dinner. I ducked into the bathroom before dessert and took the test. I didn't realize at the time that they work best first thing in the morning but that didn't seem to matter. It showed I was indeed Pregnant!! So, when I came out I served dessert and while we were snuggling on the couch I gave him the card. The shock and joy that crossed his face in those first few seconds said it all. I was nervous and excited. What did I know about being a mom?! Well, there was no looking back.  It was time to look forward and plan to welcome  new life into the world in nine short months.

Some how I survived morning sickness...lots of wheat thins, triscuts, grapes and baby carrots. I had that damn nausea all day long from the beginning until about a month before he was born. Too bad that isn't the good news it sounds like. Once the morning sickness ended I THEN had constant acid reflux 24/7 until 24 hours AFTER he was born. I still remember begging the labor nurse to tell me that once he was born that it would end and she told me yes. She LIED!! I was so upset at the time I almost cried. I just wanted to eat real food and enjoy it for once in a long time.

On the evening of July 22nd my first contraction hit. He was due on July 24th but if I didn't go into labor by the afternoon of the 23rd my doctor was going to induce me. I had been S-L-O-W-L-Y dilating since the end of June and my cervix was about 90% effaced the week before. My first contraction hit at 10:30 p.m. while I was on the phone talking to my dad and giving him directions to our new place. We had moved an hour away from where we had lived when I had first gotten pregnant.  He was driving up the next day...it would be a six hour drive for him.  My mom had been staying with us and helping me out for the last three weeks.  I am so grateful she was there for me.  Five minutes after the first contraction hit the second followed. I quickly hung up the phone, ran to the bathroom and puked my late night dinner.I still remember we were watching that baseball movie with Freddie Prinz Jr and Jessica Beil.  Some details are so clear.
After that I called the doctor and we left immediately for the hospital. My mom had a history of quick labors as did her mom. I had forewarned my OB so we were in agreement that I should head out. Since I refused to change doctors after moving we had an hour drive ahead of us.  It was my first child and I wanted to go through labor with the doctor I trusted.  I was tempting fate.  That drive during the daytime could have easily taken two hours or more during rush hour.  That route is extremely.  I thank God that I went into labor in the late evening hours.  I fear I would've made the news otherwise by giving birth in the car on the freeway.

We made it to the hospital by 11:45. My normally calm husband was a bit tense because my contractions were strong, steady and getting closer together. I'd say he was a bit freaked out. I had sworn I wouldn't ask for a wheelchair when I got the hospital but man did those contractions change my mind really quick. There was no way I was going to be able to walk to the elevator or anything!  Wheelchair it was!

My doctor took FOREVER to get there.  Meanwhile I was settled into a birthing room.  The doctor on duty finally came in to check me around  12:20/12:30.  At that point she announced I was 9 1/2 centimeters dilated and (her words) bulging!  The only thing keeping him is was the fact that somehow my water had yet to break.  All I know is I had been fighting the urge to push for a while.  Not knowing, I just thought I had to poop.  I kept worrying I was going to poop on the table. Seriously.  Now I understand that the feeling was actually the urge to push the baby out of my body.  The doctor said not to push.  HA!  I tried to be accommodating while thinking she was nuts.  I agreed to try.  What was I thinking?!  I guess my mouse side was showing and I didn't want to call attention to myself.  Crazy me.  Pregnant women in the middle of hard labor are pretty attention getting. 

My mom was there holding my hand as the contractions kept coming.  I was so glad she could be there for my first child.  My husband and her really helped.  I knew my husband wanted to watch the birth so I counted on my mom's support up by my head.  He is so fascinated by the whole process.  He told me he was glued to it when his first daughter was born.  Amazingly he was able to multitask and comfort me while watching the show.  He held my other hand, reassuring me with each contraction while taking glimpses of my body giving birth.  I'm so glad he got to experience the whole thing again.  I didn't want to deny him of that miracle.

Good thing I hadn't opted for drugs of any kind because there wouldn't have been any time.  Honestly, the decision to labor drug free was once again my fear of needles.  I hate pain but I hate needles more.  Go figure.  I was worried they would come in to administer the epidural and I'd puke or flinch.  Yep, wasn't going to chance it. Not less than two minutes after the doctor left I came to the conclusion (with my mom's help) that the baby was coming and there was no waiting.  I needed to push.  My body refused to take no for an answer.  My mom is not the outspoken type yet she opened that door and demanded the doctor come back because our baby was coming whether she liked it or not.

The doctor listened thank goodness.  She rechecked me and broke my water.  My doctor made it minutes after that.   She barely had time to scrub up and get into position.  My son was born two pushes later.  It should have been one push but he had a huge head (90th percentile).  We welcomed Goalieboy into the world at 12:51 a.m. July 23rd, 2002.  He was 7 lbs. 1.8 oz, 20 1/2 inches long.  His head was 13 1/4 inches and it ripped me when I pushed him out.  It was over so quickly.  I felt every stitch of that episiotomy and the shot with the numbing meds was extremely painful on that sensitive swollen area.  It hurt almost more than those pushes.  Seriously!

Looking back I remember all the feelings rushing at me.  I was overwhelmed, happy and terrified scared.  I was so nervous about being responsible for this tiny human being. Somehow, I pushed past it all.  From the moment of his conception I have loved him.  He is my world and I would do anything for him.  He may drive me insane more often than not and I may question myself as a parent at times.  But that's part of parenting.  Parenting has no instruction manual.  We learn as we go, by trial and error.  I've learned to trust my maternal instinct as they are usually right. 

I love my boy.  He will always be my baby (even as the oldest).  I have no regrets.  I don't always make the right decisions and neither does he but we are in it together.  I wouldn't change a thing.