Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Enjoyed Spring Break Day 2

Good day overall.  The kids slept "late today" and woke up between 8-8:30.  Yeah me!    It was a nice experience.  My son came in to snuggle for about a half hour and tell me about his fantastic dream where we all when for an amazing trip to a dinosaur museum.  I'm so glad he remembered having a good dream.  It's very rare for him.
The afternoon was filled with playdates for both kids.  I dropped my son off at his hockey friend's house before taking my daughter to her's.  It was so nice.  She hasn't seen her preschool friend since last June when they graduated prek.  I'm so glad that they were able to reconnect.  They've known each other since the boys started prek together (they were a year old!).  The hard thing for them has been that they live in different areas of the school district and therefor go to different elementary schools.  To make matters worse her mommy lost her cell phone where she kept all her phone numbers and changed her home number.  Since we don't have a land line it was hard for us to get in touch with each other.  It was nice to run into each other last Saturday during the town's Easter Egg Hunt.
The girls had a fantastic time together and so did us mommies!  The girls played so nicely together that we were able to sit back, relax and catch up on what's been going on these last 9 months.  As soon as the weather stabilizes we plan to meet up at the park so the kids can run around and tire themselves out.
The day ended on the perfect note of yummy Strawberry Shortcake topped with Whipped Cream.  Yum!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Kate on DWTS

I just wanted to take a quick moment to address Kate Gosselin on DWTS.  I know she has a lot of haters out there.  But serisously, cut her a break.  Get past the Kate you may have seen on the TLC show "Jon and Kate Plus 8".  When watching a show like DWTS free yourself of previous misconceptions and give yourself permission to let your mind take a different path.
In Kate's case remember what the judges have pointed out...she has no dance training what so ever, she is not an athlete, singer or actress.  She is not a performer.  She is who she is and you can't say she's ever tried to protray it any other way.  I'm sure this is why she is disliked (and liked) by many.  This is a lot to overcome for anyone.  I don't think many of us out there (with zero background in any of these areas) would not struggle themselves to pull it off.  I give her credit for putting herself out there, trying to reinvent herself and put a smile on her face and dance.  Honestly, I know I could NOT do it!  No way, no how.  So I say, "GO KATE!".  You have to have a very strong backbone to put yourself center stage and I applaude you.  Raise your head high and be proud.  I like your DWTS partner very much but I totally got what you were saying when you tried to tell him that you were struggling to follow how he was trying to teach you.  Everyone learns different.  So I feel for the pair of you.  I really hope you (as a dance couple) can overcome this trial. 
Even though it was headline catching, I don't like how DWTS promoted the struggle and communication issue they had.  All the couples go through ups and downs and I don't remember the show ever using such a negative issue throughout the two hour show to keep viewers watching.  It's a shame in my opinion. 
These are my personal thoughts and feelings on Kate.  Good luck to her!  I really hope she can continue with DWTS and that her and Tony grow as a team.  Show all your haters that you are more than they believed.  I have 2 children and struggle with keeping it all together.  It's hard to juggle it all.  Bless you for all you do.

Day One of Spring Break

Rainy day here on the east coast.  Flood watches and warnings in effect.  So far, not bad.  More to come tomorrow, so we shall see.
The husband has decided to supress his "jerk" dual personality, so all is well for now.  I just don't get him.  He starts to stress about money and is overtired from work and just snaps.  It's so tiring.  I'm hoping the hollidays will go smoothly and "jerk" will stay in a dark closet somewhere.  I put my b^tch side away and hope she stays gone forever when it comes to my home life.  I hate it, hate it, hate it!  Pray for us that we can ride this rough patch and continue to move forward in our love for ourselves and our family.
My day flew by and was overall a very nice one.  The kids were up early as it seems to happen in our household on days off of school.  (chuckling here)  It never fails. I have trouble getting them up each Monday to Friday at 7:30.  However, it doesn't seem to matter what time they go to bed at night during an off school day, they are always up before 8.  Today, my son crawled into my bed with me for a short 30 minute snuggle before making his way downstairs to watch NHL on the fly and see which of his teams won last night.  My daughter was down there by 8 and they didn't kill each other though they did bicker viciously at times.  I crawled out of bed at 9 and was going to head down to make them breakfast when my son yelled up, "Don't worry mom, I'm making us breakfast.".  Yeah!  He popped a couple frozen waffles into the toaster, pulled out the syrup and butter and Viola..breakfast!  Yippee!!  He likes to help that way and at almost 8, I think he is ready for it.  I was able to take a quick uninterrupted shower, which was a treat unto itself.
My mom offered to take the kids for the afternoon so I was free to enjoy myself.  One of my girlfriends picked me up and after a stop at DD we headed shopping.  For you moms out there...you know how freeing it is to head out shopping sans kids!  And the extra treat was not having to rush home to get the kids from school.  FREEDOM!  Oh and I got the cutest pair of shoes that I can't wait to wear!  Yeah me!!
I feel rejuventated after having some me time.  It was real nice. My son is going to a friend's house tomorrow  afternoon.  I was going to take them to see the movie "How to Train Your Dragon".  Now I'm not sure what to do for mommy/daughter time.  I'm sure I'll come up with something fun.  Maybe we'll see the movie on Wednesday.  I'm looking forward to enjoying the afternoon with her.  

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Emotional Weekend

Friday night my husband told me that he had unintentionally obligated to a work function on Saturday forgetting that it was my son's end of the season party for hockey.  I was so upset since this is not the first time something like this has happened.  Why oh why can't he remember that he has important family events planned.  He realized this some time after his bosses third call that day to verify he was coming.  To make it worse the function was a trip to casino 90 minutes away.  It was supposed to strengthen the teams bond.  They gambled for a few hours and then had dinner.  It was ridiculous.  But, I accepted it even if I was disappointed for our son.  I did know that my husband truly wanted to be there and was upset he couldn't be.  He actually had the balls to ask me to go with him and have my father or a teammates father bring our son to the party...which includes the handing out of  trophies and certificates after skating and pizza.  I can't believe he would seriously ask me to comtemplate that.  Any other time I would have gone.  Even if it meant missing a game.  But not a special event such as this.  So, he went to his function and I took the kids (including my stepdaughter) to the party.  We all had lots of fun and I have no regrets of the choice I made.
Today was another matter.  First off, I put my foot in my mouth this morning.  I got upset that my stepdaughter was leaving even earlier than originally planned.  We normally drop her off at her mom's around 7:30/8:00.  Today however, she had plans for her mom's boyfriend's sister (are you following this?) to pick her up at 3:00 so they could meet boyfriend's mom and go to a hotel overnight. This is something kind of traditional for them,,,,to kick the end of winter blues, so to say.  I don't begrudge her this in the least.  She deserves it.  What breaks my heart is that they can't wait until later in the day to pick her up.  It cuts into our family time with her.  It hurts.  The worst of it is that these things don't even faze my husband any more.  He's on an emotional disconnect when it comes to thses things with his oldest child.  So sad.  I feel that I care more and hurt more about this for me and the kids.  Why?  Is it wrong for it to hurt me this much?   The foot in mouth thing happened because I didn't "filter my words" (to quote stepdaughter).  She told me that she was actually leaving earlier than originally planned and she hadn't had a chance to tell me.  I unthoughtfully replied, why does it have to cut into our time with you?  We only get to see you once every other weekend and we're (meaning daddy and the kids) blood.  I still can't believe I was so insensitive!  I have a habit (that I am trying hard to work on) of speaking how I feel without waiting to find the right words.  I don't mean to hurt anyone, but sometimes I do.  I need to stop and find the right words for it.  She didn't come out and say I hurt her, just calmly got up and washed off her breakfast disher before retreating upstairs.  Oh my God!  What was I thinking?!  That was not only hurtful but rude, thoughtless and so many other things.  I waited for a good 10 minutes because I wanted to say the "right" words.  Thank goodness, she let me come in when I knocked and she listened to my heartfelt apology.. In the end, she said she knew I ddin't mean it that way and we talked about "filtering" what we thought before it came out wrong.  It was a great talk and I know it was heartfel on both sides.  I even cried.  I told her that I want her to always know that she is my first child and I love her very much.  I definately feel like we had a real bonding momennt.  It was as nice as the one we had last weekend when she was over...she told me about some intimate details about her life (and a close friendship gone wrong).  She told me that while she can talk to her mom about these things she likes to come to me for advice.  It made me feel good.  I love her so much it hurts that we don't have her more.  I try to get whatever time we can with her.  Our talk went well this morning and branched into other things.  Daddy was gone doing errands at thsi time.  When all was said and done, we went out to Dunkin donuts for coffee/hot cocoa and bagels.  It was nice and I really feel were are more than good because she understands I don't bemoan her time with her "aunt" and "grandma" I just miss her and wish we had her more.
The day ebbed and flowed from there.  My husband wasn't around for most of it.  First he went to have his rental care vacuumed, then slept on the couch for a while and then upstars in our room (saying he wasn't feeling well).  He finally made an ppearance a half hour before my stepdaughter left.
I love my husband, unfortunately we have an up and down relationship.  There are many highs and lows.  This weekend his was absent in many ways.  To make matters worse, he decided to bring up the tax money not long after my stepdaughter left.  We typically split it.  I spend my money on things for the kids over the year, leaving it my checking account.  I get them school clothes, birthday gifrts, christmas gifts, things for school and home as needed.  I rarely spend much on myself...some seasonal clothes here or there totallying my $200 over a year.  I'm not quite certain what he spends his on.  What's disheartening is we got a new homebuyers credit last year for the purchase of our house.  We have to pay this back.  We got back $7000 for it plus another $4500.  We both took $2500 for ourselves and put the remaining $6500 in our savings account so we could spend it on the house.  In August we took out about $2000 for vacation.  We should have had $4500 left.  It's all gone...somewhere.  Bills my husband tells me now.  He never had the decency to tell me he was dipping in to it.  I understand it if he needed it but why not be upfront and tell me.  I just found this out not long ago.  So, he "asks" me if he can have more of the tax money because our cell phone bill is over $1000!  What the heck?!  On top of that he has another $500 deductible to pay for car repairs (2nd "no fault" accident in 4 months!).  I told him take it all if he really needed it and I meant it.  I was being mean, though I was floored.  Well, he took that to be bitchy and we got into it big time.  It's so unfair that my 5 year old daughter is STILL waiting for a bunk bed to rerplace the toddler bed she is getting too bigh for.  It's ridiculous!  But I held my tongue.  He has money management problems and anger management issues.  Everything ends up my fault and if we argue it's because of what I said.  He jumped down my throat.  I thnk he was looking for a fight to cover the fact that he wanted the tax money and hated asking for it.  He needs to grow up!  He's almost 40.  Everything does not need to be a fight.  To top it off he refuses to shut up when the kids are home.  Why can't we be civil about it?  It's not fair to be hollering with them their to hear it.  In the same room!  It was bad and it's not the first time.  We need help and he refuses it, doesn't see the need.  It hurts me because I know not only can I continue to go through this but neither can our children.  I'm lost and don't know what to do.  His answer to the end of the arguement was....I'm now going to take all the money, I'm not going to pay your car insurance, I hope your car breaks down...etc.  What the heck?  Are you a child?  Yes, he pays the whole mortgage.  He also makes $65000 to my $23,000.  I buy all the food, pay the electric, pay for my car needs (gas and such) and everything for the kids...clothes, school supplies,etc.  I pull the weight I can.  I don't splurge on myself ever.  I don't get it.  He refuses to cut down on our satellite bill, our cell phone service, etc.  I'm down to the bare bones and don't know what to do.  I'm worried we'll lose the house before he gets it.  I don't know where this leaves the two of us once again (as this is a reoccuring issue).  He's upstairs in our bed and I'm down on the couch.  I might go up into my daughter's room and sleep in stepdaughter's bed.  I hate this.   I don't want to fight.  Why can't we love each other, talk to one another as equals, compromise and put our family first.  I just don't know what's going to happen.
Keep our family in your prayers.  I want us to become strong, not weak.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Dentist Visit...the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Yesterday was a busy day.  I meant to blog but I was beat and hubby was sick and needed to be babied when he got home around 7pm.
Yesterday my children had their dentist visit.  I have to say that the kids are wonderful when they go to the doctor or the dentist.  Knock on Wood.  I hope it never changes.  I think it helps that the doctor has always been able to help them feel better, so it's been an overall good experience.  The same goes for the dentist.  The dentist we use is a pedicatric dentist and that seems to help.  She is great with children and has one the same age as my son.  I like her two assistants two.  If I don't like someone or my children don't like them, then we will not go back.  Case in point, the first pediatrician I had for my son right after he was born.  I met with her when I was pregnant and thought she would be fine.  However, after my son arrived it took no more than two visits to her to discover that she was not the right fit for either of us.  She was distant and I didn't like her bedside manner with him.  So, I swiftly went and found a group of pediatricians that we've been with ever since.  We travel 40 minutes to see them since we moved before my daughter was born, but I feel it is worth the drive.
I picked the kids up from school at 1 o'clock.  They were excited to go.  We arrived there and they played in the childrens area until we were seen.  They love that corner.  It has a table to play on, a little school area with a big chalkboard, lots of books and a little tv.
I scheduled their visits at the same time.  They have one room that is split for just this reason.  It's nice to be able to go back and forth and see how they're both doing.  I spent most of the time in with my daughter since she's 5.  My son's a pro at this and doesn't mind me flittering in and out.
The cleanings went without problems.  X-rays were taken.  Amazingly enough my 5 (soon to be 6 in June) year old daughter already has her 6 year molars all the way in!  The bad news is that my son has  cavity on one of his back teeth.  We were both so sad to find this out. The dentist had been praising them on how well they have taken care of their teeth.  The startling news I got from my son was that he didn't realize he had to brush all the way back there!  I was floored because I brushed back there for him when he was small and I know he's been educated during school and dentists visits to do this too.  He got sealants on his molars last October so I have a feeling that he stopped brushing back there about that time, figuring that sealants prevent cavities to all the back teeth.  The good news is it's a wake up call.  He has asked me to help him brush his back teeth for now.  So, we'll see where this leads.
So, the overall dentist visit was ok and it created a learning experience.  I will take that as a positive.  The pain is going to come for me when I have to pay for the filling.  My dental plan does not cover clear fillings in the back of the mouth, only silver.  So I'm going to be shelling out around $160 for it and another $60 for my daughter's sealants.  I really need a steady paycheck again...but that's another story unto itself.  I will be blogging about that and my IME appointment that I am heading off to now in my other Blog "Real Retail Nightmares".

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

EARLY morning and Spring picture day

I am laying on my couch with my laptop on my lap while American Idol plays on low in the background and I contemplate my day.  I am enjoying the peace and quiet.  Everyone is in bed.  Loving it.
This morning started extremely early when my husbands alarm clock went off at 3:15.  I drifted in and out of sleep until he kissed me good by at 3:50.  From that point on my sleep was gone no matter how tired I was or how much I prayed for sleep to return.  It was not kind to me and would not come.  I finally gave up hope at 6:08.  I can't believe I stubbornly layed their for that long!
Today was Spring Picture Day at school.  Both kids didn't give me too much trouble getting up.  I tried to wake them slowly so as not to annoy them.  Neither child likes to wake up until they are good and ready especially my daughter.  I chuckle as I type that becaue she can be a devil child some school mornings.  I swear aliens take over her body.  It took me a while to tame my daughter's naturally curly hair.  I normally keep it pulled back off her face but I like it loose for picture day.  I sprayed it down and added a little curl tamer before scrunching it and using a blower dryer on it.  She looked so precious when she walked out the door this morning.
I was in a hazy place this morning so I let the kids buy lunch instead of packing them.  My biggest misstep this morning was forgetting to put the pork roast into the crockpot this morning.  Ugh!  I didn't realize this until close to noon.  So, I sent hubby a text letting him know that it was takeout night on me.  Mentally I was not up to figuring out a different dinner choice.  So, tomorrow I will do pulled pork.  I better not forget!
I rounded the morning out with the dreaded self appointed task of going through all the pictures on my desktoop. I organized them into files, if they weren't already, and copied the folders onto a thumb drive.  Unfortunately, I was unable to finish since I filled up the drive and have to purchase another.  Sigh.  So, I'll finish that up in the next few days. I've given myself a deadline of Sunday to have it done.  No more procrastinating!  I need to clean up the desktop because eventually we're going to give it to the kids to use for homework and fun.
My afternoon was over quick.  I didn't even eat lunch, just a small snack of pretzels. I was beat from lack of sleep so I treated myslef with a much needed nap from 1:30-3:00.  This never happens, as either a) I feel guilty for doing it or b) I try and just can't fall asleep.  For once, I was able to indulge.  I so did not want to wake up to get the kids from school.
From there until now the rest of my day flew right on by...homework, ice skating, dinner (Subway... Yummy!), stories, a little hockey (Sabres vs Canadians) and then bedtime! 
I indulged in watching ANTM, browsing through Facebook and listening to American Idol.  Now my energy is lagging and I'm starting to yawn.  Bedtime in 10 minutes!  Night all!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The homework struggle

It's a daily occurrance from Monday to Friday that I struggle with getting my 7 year old son to do his homework.  It's an uphill battle, the war of all wars.  I stiffle a laugh as I type this but it's the truth and it's not too funny while I'm in the midst of it.
Today I got the kids from school and had a fairly uneventful walk home.  Blessing of all blessings.  No argurments to break up is always BONUS!  We get in the door and my DS(dear son) begs to show me dinosaur pictures he drew in school.  I give in figuring that even though it will be incentive for him to do his homework after.  The one thing I ask him to do is to please take his coat, backpack and shoes upstairs and put them away before we look at his drawings.  He (of course) has a minor meltdown.  I calmly tell him that if he wants me to look at them he must be willing to compromise and do these things for me since I am clearly compromising by allowing him to put off doing his homework.  I admire his drawings that he was copying out of his huge dinosaur book.  They are good for a 7 year old and could be even better if he'd taken his time.  I'm quite proud of the result and tell him so (exluding the suggestion to slow down, which is sure to upset him).  He drags it out for a good 15 minutes before I continue to tell him that he now needs to go upstairs and start his dreaded homework.  He whines and cries that he is "starving!".  I believe all boys are born this way.  As always, so it should not be surprising to him, I tell him to go on up and begin his homework and I will bring him a snack.  He never seems happy with this reply as he is about to starve from hunger and gets upset once again.  My son is very dramatic this way.  My DD (dear daughter) chimes in that she is starving too.  Oh my!  She's rarely starving.  She brings to my attention that her teacher somehow forgot snacktime today.  I usher them both upstairs with promises of a snack in a few minutes.  DD plays quietly in her room since she is done with her homework for the week.  The life of a kindergartner is easy compared to that of a second grader.  DS will whine on and on about how unfair his life is, forgetting that he was once 5 too.
The snacks were consumed and lots of delaying tactics tried and failed...one of which included the standard "your no fair!" line that also had the added sound of a slamming bedroom door and stomping feet above my head.  It is peaceful and quiet for now.  I can only imagine what the hours between now and bedtime will bring!  Pray for my sanity!

My Life...

I thought I'd start out my blog with just a little bit of background.  I hope you can relate to parts of my life, as everyone is inherantly different, yet the same.
I'm 35 years old.  My husband and I will be celebrating our eighth wedding anniversary in May.  I have a bachelor's degree in Communications which I've never used.  This is because I "fell" into the world of retail management as soon as I graduated college.  My simple retail job had an opening for an assistant manager and the pay was great. I was easily making $5,000 more a year to start than if I used my degree.  For a college graduate who needed to pay off over $40,000 in loans it was a huge insentive to put aside my career aspirations for a later daate...which never came.
I met my husband when I was 26.  We were married right before I turned 28.  My son was born right after that and my daughter followed 2 years later.  I also have a wonderful stepdaughter who was 6 when I came into her life.
I've been gotten really good at trying to juggle it all, but it's never easy.  I can honestly say, that as I've gotten older and more has been added to my plate, I get overwhelmed and stressed out a lot more than I'd like.
On this blog I will share the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly details of my complicated life.  I don't feel it is any more or less complicated than other moms out there...just unique unto itself.  If you can relate please follow along.  Feel free to offer insight and advice.  If  you agree or disagree with me please comment.  I am open to it all because none of us are the same and we learn by sharing our feelings openly with one another!