Saturday, September 10, 2011

9/11 We Will Always Remember-10 Years Later




I sit here with my personal reflections of that tragic day in U.S. history.  My heart races, my eyes fill with tears and I feel hollow from all the senseless, tragic loss. 

My children are now at the age they are asking questions about 9/11.  It is a difficult discussion for me to have with them. 

How do you explain hatred?  Senseless tragedy and death?

I explained it to them as openly and honestly as I could.  I don't want them to be scared of terrorism.  I don't want them to fear living in the land of the free.  I want them to know this is truly the land of the brave.

We became a stronger country after what we went through 10 years ago.  We may have our struggles but we will not quit and never give up.  We are fighters and will continue to do so.

I shared some of my memories of that fateful day.  I will share them with you.

I was living in Lyndhurst, NJ at the time.  Thirteen miles from the World Trade Centers.

I was at work in Paramus that fateful morning.  I still remember being told the news.  We all stood around in shocked silence.  We listened to the radio and heard when the second tower was hit.  We heard about the towers falling.  Then the plane crashed in a Pennsylvania field.  We were told to go home. Many of my co-workers had friends and family that worked or lived near the Trade Centers.

I couldn't leave fast enough.

My husband (fiancee at the time) and I had just moved to the area from Western New York four months prior.  We were strangers in a strange land.  We knew no one.  We were still getting familiar with the area.  I tried to reach him on the phone but all the lines were busy...land and cell.

I remember driving down a normally jam packed route 17 and it was deserted.  No cars in sight.  It was eerie and I was scared.  In my 27 years I had never been so terrified.  I wondered what was going to happen next.

In the distance I could see the dark, black smoke billowing up from the city skyline.  It was horrifying.  I drove with tears streaming down my face.  I was shaking.  I felt lost and uncertain.

I made it home in record time and walked like a zombie into our first floor apartment in a two story house.  I locked the door,  grabbed the home phone and turned on the television.  I alternated trying to reach my husband's cell, his work phone and my mom.   I used both phones.  Nothing.  Just a constant busy signal mocking me and my fears.  I took turns pacing the floor and rocking myself on the couch.  I felt exposed and so alone.

A plane screamed overhead.  I shuttered and thought a bomb was going to drop.The whole house shook. Later, I realized it must have been a military plane heading into the city.

When I was finally able to reach my mom on the phone we cried together.  She had been in a panic thinking we had been in the city that day.  About once a week we were traveling into the city for job interviews for my husband.  I am so grateful that this was not the case that day.

My husbands boss wouldn't let his employees leave.  I still shake my head in amazement of his callousness.  That was a day to be near your loved ones and hold them tightly.  When he finally walked in the door I threw myself into his arms sobbing, so relieved to have him home with me.

My heart was (and is still) broken for everyone who lost loved ones that day.  Hatred is a scary beast.  I pray that one day peace can reign in our world. I fear it's just a dream out of reach in reality.

However, as I share my memories of that tragic day with my children I am determined to pass on hope for a better tomorrow.  I remind them that we our strong.  I tell them how much I love and cherish them.  I hold them tightly glad that we have one another.

9 comments:

Bicultural Mama said...

Thank you for sharing your story. The best we can do is teach our kids about what happened and learn from it. Can't believe your husband's boss made the employees stay. Too bad that is one thing you two will never forget. Hope he doesn't still work for that boss.

sherry said...

Thanks for sharing we all have such memories of that day and how it touch us all. I agree with the comment before it is important for our kids to learn about that day from us.
One boss/owner was not going to let us go at first as well, really what were they thing productivity.. . I just finished writing mine account.
peace be with you.
http://www.superexhausted.com/2011/09/rembering-911-where-we-you/

Mommy's Juggling Act said...

@Bicultural Mama I agree. This year we have begun to talk about it together. I want them to understand what happened that day. And yes, my husband no longer works for that compnany.

Mommy's Juggling Act said...

@sherry Thank you for your words. It's sad really. We were so close to the city. Many of our coworkers had loved ones working/living in the area of the Twin Towers. It was so wrong. That was a day to be with your loved ones and hold them tightly.

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

Thank you for sharing your story. You inspired me to write my own 9-11 post on my site. That is terrible with his boss. It was a day for family to be together. Is he still working there? http://www.the-mommyhood-chronicles.com

Mommy Nani Booboo said...

There are so many stories... everyone has a different perspective on that day.
But they all seem to have one thing in common - remembering, and holding our loved ones tight.

Angelia Sims said...

Hope for a tomorrow. A beautiful sentiment that you are sharing with your children. It's in these blossoms of love that we defeat the horror.

And, I too, am glad he no longer works for that employer. I didn't go home that day either, but I work in travel and it was tough day for everyone trying to get home. :-( I did all I could to help.

~Mistee~ said...

So sad. You must have been scared beyond words. My kids don't ask much about 9/11. Im still not sure what I would say to them. :(.

Mommy's Juggling Act said...

Thank you everyone. It's hard to remember and hard to forget. The details will always live on in my memories. It reminds me to hold my kids tight and be grateful for what I have.