Thursday, September 08, 2011

Parents Choose Your Friends Carefully

This public service announcement goes out to all moms and dads.  I'll direct it more to those with younger non-school age children.  If you're kids are in school then you probably know all about this:

Drama Mamas/Ghetto Freaks/Attention Whores/Know It Alls

Seriously, as an adult you know there are all types of people in the world.  But as a parent they are sometimes hard to avoid.  Also, they wear masks.  They draw you in with their appropriate parental prattle but watch out they're not who they seem to be.  It's just a sick game to them. 

Pay attention and be leery.  Not on the outside but on the inside.  For me, I had on rose colored glasses.  I should smack myself upside the head.  I've worked in retail management.  I've seen these types of parents.  I guess I just never associated them with parents I would be meeting when my kids started going to school. 

Preschool seemed normal.  I was also working full time so maybe I just got lucky and gravitated towards "normal" parents. *snicker*  No parent is normal.  Come on now, be honest with yourself.  We are not normal.  We're just more normal than others.  I guess I thought that elelmentary school would be the same but dang was I wrong!

Brace yourself.  I didn't realize how bad it really was.  To be honest, in the scheme of things it's not that bad but there are more out there than you think.  And as I said, they wear masks.  Each school has different types and some are more obvious than others.

I learned the hard way.  The summer my oldest went into first grade we moved closer to the school and he became a walker.  I was working less so I was able to become more involved.  Overall, it was a fantastic thing.  We had more time in the morning and after school together, no waiting out in inclement weather for the bus and I met some great parents at pickup.  The downfall, I got suckered by a few of said parents.

That year I made some mommy friends.  Some worked, some stayed home, some had a child with special needs and many were involved in the school.  We would hang out at the school playground chatting, have playdates at the park.  I got closer with a few and we hung out.  Seemed perfect.  But I was wrong.

Some of those so called friends were not what they presented themselves to be.  They were back stabbers, troublemakers and full of drama (a.k.a. drama mamas).  I had a real bad experience right before the end of school that year.  I learned the hard way.  The signals were there but I ignored them.  I won't ever do that again.

Know the saying, "Treat others the way you want to be treated"?  Well, observe those you want to be friends with.  How do they treat others?  Not just you.  Are they catty?  Do they whine and complain?  Do they harass the school, teachers, other parents?  Are they judgemental?  Do they bully others? Are they always building themselves up to look good?  If you answered yes to any of these be on alert.  I would say turn and run but sometimes that's not always the best idea either.  If you run, you could be the one at the other end of the drama.  My advice, be friendly without being too friendly.  Limit your socializing to school things and not outside of school

I got to "overhear" one drama queen yelling at another through the school fence.  I'm so glad both women's children were already in school at the time.  All I could hear was them calling each other names and going at it verbally.  Though they kept taunting each other to "bring it" like they were going to actuallly kick the others ass.  A bunch of hair pulling trash in my opinion.  I hate to pass judgement but when you are in your kids school yard talking trash then that's what you are.  Do you not have any self control?  No self esteem?  Please!  Pull it together.  Parents are supposed to be role models for their children.  There are children, teachers, parents and yes police around you.  Grow the heck up and act like a mature adult.  Don't talk your ghetto talk around innocent bystanders. Go beat eachother up where we can't see you.  You are a poor example to your children for even talking and acting like that (public place or not).

So, if you are ever suckered in by these types of parents walk away.  I wish I had paid attention to the signs.  One of those forementioned ghetto trash talking mamas use to be a friend of mine.  But I learned my lesson the hard way.  I'm sharing my advice with you.  Choose your "mommy/daddy" friends carefully.  If not, it could blow up in your face.  Or possibly, hit you there between the eyes.


Jessica said...

Great advice! My daughter isn't in school yet, but I've met some friends who are parents through some of her playdates. I think sometimes it's easy to assume that because we're all adults, we'll all behave like adults, and that simply isn't the case.

JustDoItMom said...

I agree, excellent advice. I can't believe parents actually act like that - well, I guess I can, I just wish it wasn't so. My son's only in preschool and so far everyone seems "normal" but believe me, I plan to pick carefully after reading this.

Bicultural Mama said...

Great info. My 2 yr old is starting nursery school in a week so I'm sure I'll come into comment with some of these parents. You'd think since we're all parents we'd all be Zen together, but the reality is that it's like the real world, people's personalities come out. Like High School never ended or something like that. Too much drama!