Patriotic Berry Parfait

This recipe is simple but delicious.  Your kids can even make it themselves!

Ingredients:

Vanilla or plain yogurt (my kids prefer vanilla)
Mixed berries (fresh or frozen)
Granola

Directions:

Layer yogurt, granola and berries. Repeat.  It's that easy!  Use parfait cups or clear glasses for presentation.  If using frozen berries partially unthaw first following the directions on the bag.

My kids are inhaling these as I type.

Winter Has Arrived!

Winter has finally really arrived!  I'm not counting the freakish storm in October that caused so many problems.

The kids were so excited to go outside and play.  The only thing that would've made them happier was if it had happened during the week and they would've gotten a snow day.

They bundled up in warm winter coats, snow pants, gloves, hats and scarves.  Excitement sparked the air. 

Too bad my camera phone only uploads grainy pictures that don't do the moment justice.




First stop was the shed in our backyard where the sleds and stuff are stored.

The kids took turns sledding down our driveway.  It's a nice little hill that makes it perfect for sledding.
The kids also raced down it together.  Laughing all the way.

Snow angels are a must!  My daughter loves making them.  My son of course had to play hockey in the snow.  He even got grandpa in the act.  Grandpa stood at the top of the drive and played goalie, keeping the puck out of the street. Both were having a great time.  I loved seeing the pure childlike joy on both their faces.

The atmosphere of pure joy and abandon is priceless and intoxicating.  I felt like a kid again, laughing with them.  My daughter would take the sled up the top of the driveway and have me push her hard.  She would giggle going down and squeal at the bottom and demand again!

It was such a good day.  The kids are now inside enjoying hot chocolate and playing in the "fort" I made them.  The simple things are the best and most fun!

Must Haves When Traveling With Children

We just came back from a weekend away.  I realized I have many expected and unexpected responsibilities during a long drive.

Here are just a few hats I wear:

*  Direction giver/GPS checker
     - I never leave my husband in charge of directions because his mind wanders.  If I'm driving he's usually
       fast asleep instead of paying attention to where we need to be going. 

*  Keeper of the snacks
     -water bottles, pretzels, fruit, crackers, granola bars and a few sweets.  Very important to keep up
       every one's energy when traveling.  A hungry adult/child is a crabby and whiny one.

*  Argument settler
     -Self explanatory for any parent.  I lost track of the amount of times I said things like...stop doing that,
       keep your hands to yourself, use your indoor voice, leave his/her stuff alone it's not yours, stop fighting
       and the list goes on and on and on.

*  Game coordinator
     -My kids like to play games in the car.  It keeps them engaged and that makes mommy happy.  A
       few games we like to play are:  searching for different state license plates, 20 questions and I-Spy.

*  Entertainment Bag
    -I make sure both my kids pack a small bag to bring into the car that is separate from their luggage.  This
     bag contains things that will keep them occupied.  It is a life saver because no matter how well you plan
     the kids will get bored.  They pack activity books, coloring books, crayons, a book/magazine to read,
     their DS and small toys.  My daughter likes to pack a few Barbies (hope this stage is over quick) and a
     stuffed animal.  If it's small and will keep them entertained for a while I will let them pack it.  The only
     exception is really tiny toys like Squinkies which are easily lost and nearly impossible to find.
    
*  Music Controller
     -Everyone has different tastes in music.  Right now my kids don't have i-pods so we have to compromise
      on music choices.  My kids like popular "Top 40" type of music, my son and husband like Country.  My
      responsibility is to make sure everyone gets a chance to listen to what they like.  Sometimes we've run
      through the Cd's and the radio stations are full of static.  In my world that can be pure hell.  So, I always
      try to keep the radio on until we get to a point where we can't find a good station to listen to and then I
      I put the Cd's on.

*  Movie director
     -If we're borrowing my dad's van I am in charge of the movies being played on the DVD player.  It's hard
       to get the kids to agree.  I have a boy and girl so it can be a struggle.  My son likes sport based movies
       and my daughter likes girly movies and cartoons.  Depending on how long we're going to be
       in the van I have them choose 3-5 movies and I am the enforcer of compromise.

*  Rest Stop Coordinator
   -This goes along with direction giver/GPS checker.  My job is to plan out stops to use the bathroom and
     stretch.  This is very important.  Kids need to run around after being in the car for a few hours and they
     have a harder time waiting to use the bathroom.  Adults just need to stretch so their backs don't freeze
     up.  I have a bad back/neck/shoulder so this is very important.  I wasn't able to plan in enough stops
     on the way back from our last trip (because we started home late) and my body screamed at me for days
     after.  So, always plan stops in your travels.  Your body will thank you later.

And finally....

*  Climate Control
     -This is very important!  No one's body has the same temperature thermostat.  It's a very fine line to walk
      especially if it's extremely cold or hot outside.  Again, a lot of compromise comes with this responsibility.
      I make sure the kids bring a sweater or jacket to keep them warm in case the car is too cold for them.

Oh, and another must is pillows or pillow pets. Kids get tired during car rides and there's nothing worse than trying to find a comfortable place to put your head while you close your eyes.  I always make sure they bring pillows with them into the car.

Do you have any responsibilities when your family is traveling?  How do you keep things running smoothly?  Do you have any go to's to keep your kids from getting bored and cranky?  I'd love to hear them!

Bathroom Etiquette or Lack Thereof

Nasty, dirty bathrooms are a pet peeve of mine.  It's disgusting!  I can't stand the grossness of public bathrooms.  I don't understand how people can be so rude and inconsiderate.  Pee and toilet paper on the floor.  Unflushed toilets.  Gross, gross, gross!  Do their bathrooms at home look like this? 

I have a feeling their bathrooms are not quite so bad.  But, there's got to be a connection there somewhere.  And their laziness and inconsideration seeps over into public restrooms but in a much bigger way.  I get the heebee geebees going into most public bathrooms.

I've taught my kids well on bathroom etiquette.  They know to always put the toilet paper in the toilet.  They flush and put the seat down at home.  When out in public they know to quickly do their business without touching anything, flush with their foot and wash their hands thoroughly.  All without causing any mess they'd have to clean up.

Believe it or not all this is just a set up for the real meaty part of my post.  If you'd like to read a great post about public restrooms head over to Bees With Honey.  She tells it like it is.  We all know public restrooms are gross.  Hopefully, we have all taught our children proper bathroom usage and hold them accountable.  This post is about behind the scenes in MY home, when follow through doesn't happen.  Watch where you walk, it could get dangerous!

Let me first start by saying it's not just the young that are sometimes oblivious to the rules of the bathroom.  Some of the biggest offenders are daddies and teenagers.  Let's be honest.  The hubbies are always running out the door early in the morning and don't pay attention to their surroundings through blurry eyes.  Mine works long hours, 2 jobs and is usually up by 3:30 a.m. and home sometime between 5 and 10:30 p.m.  His nighttime rituals can be just as chaotic as his morning ones.  The teenager is oblivious to others.  Ironic that if someone else has the same bathroom etiquette it grosses them out but they don't see the wake they leave behind. I have to admit that while gross, I bet there are worse scenarios out there than mine.  For that I am truly grateful, but I'm still grossed out.

I try hard to give the hubby a pass in the morning and on the nights he comes home really late.  I try not to let it drive me nuts.  But honestly...it does!  I'm the one left (most times) to clean up in his wake.  Sometimes I want to cry.  Other times scream.  And many times both, while jumping up and down.  Come on, get with the program!  They're are little eyes that monitor everything you do.  They mimic you in so many more ways than you realize or comprehend.

His transgressions:

• Toothpaste in the sink
• Toothpaste on the counter and on the mirror.
• Drenched Wet towels left on the floor (or put wet in our bedroom laundry hamper)
• Clothes left on the floor after shower (He does always pick them up, eventually.)
• Flooded Wet floor from not making sure the curtain is tucked in.
• Flooded Wet floor from taking a bath (yes he does) and sloshing water onto the floor
• Shower curtain untucked or half open.  (Yes, I'm particular with this one.)
• Leftover shaving "remnants" in the sink...hair stubble, shaving creams (Gross!)
• Not emptying an obviously overflowing garbage can and adding more to it.
• Peeing on the seat or floor in the middle of the night.

The teenager is here for the month of August.  Love her!  But in true teenage fashion she is careless and oblivious to how her actions effect others.  Normally not an issue because she's only her one night every other week.  Now it's a bit gross.  Not horribly gross.  I'm sure it might be worse if she was a boy.  But then again, I could be wrong.  I fear as she gets more comfortable it could get worse.  So far, she cleans up her hair products and cosmetics.  That gives her huge bonus points.

Her transgressions:

• Leaving wet towel from hair on bedroom floor (Better than bathroom floor?  Maybe.)
• Hair and soap scum in the shower drain. (This is by far the most gross thing...even worse than pee, I think.)
• Hair on the floor and in the sink

The kids seem to pattern after the older residents in the house.  But they do listen well and go back and clean up when I point it out to them.  I try to keep it positive.  When the bathroom looks good I try to tell them.  Positive reinforcement can go a long way to fixing problems.  They're hit and miss right now.  Overall, the boy is worse than the girl on follow through.  We'll keep working on it.

Their transgressions:

• Toothpaste in the sink.
• Toothpaste splatter on mirror and counter top.
• Toothbrushes not fully rinsed off.
• Soap "bubbles" left in tub (Way too much body wash and/or shampoo).
• Clothes left on bathroom floor.
• Wash cloth on tub floor.
• Towel not hung up (I just ask them to remember to have an adult help them).
• Peeing on the toilet seat or floor.
• Body wash/shampoo not put away or left upside down to drip over tub.
• Shower curtain not tucked in.

The good news...they don't do this disgusting stuff out in public or while visiting friends.  I'm trying to concrete the point that I'm not a maid.  It's their responsibility to clean up after themselves.  The toothpaste things drives me CRAZY!  It's not hard to rinse it out of the sink.  And if you pay attention you can avoid getting it on counter and/or mirror.  The pee on the floor thing is beyond gross.  I understand at night aim is off and it's dark because you don't want to turn on the light.  You need to check in the morning and wipe up area with the Lysol Wipes under the cabinet.  It's not hard to do.  And, you need to listen to your bladder.  If it tells you to go, Go!  Don't wait.  That's when you tinkle on the floor because you can't get your pants down quick enough.  You're old enough to know better.  Clean up after yourself please.  And the most disgusting thing is the hair in the drain.  I clean up mine.  God, there are days I swear I'm going bald because there's so much in there!  But once I'm all dried off, I use a tissue and clean it out.  Gross, but it's my responsibility.  I now have to delicately brooch this subject with the teenager.  I hope she doesn't get sensitive about it.  I cleaned it up at least twice this week.  I won't be doing it again.  It makes me want to hurl.  *Gag* Ick!

I have to admit, it's getting better.  Towels are hung up, less water on the floor, sinks occasionally wiped clean.  I'm going to focus my efforts on dry floors, hairless tub drain and rinsed sink for now.  I hope my efforts pay off.  Pray that I don't lose my ever loving mind in the process!


Do you have bathroom pet peeves?  What rules do you have for bathroom etiquette in your house?



***This post was inspired after the whole hair in the drain thing.  I find "blog therapy" to be both calming, inspirational and insightful before I tackle issues head on with delicacy and aplomb.  Also, I love when others can relate so I know it's not just me with these crazy feelings.

Housework and Mommy Guilt

Looking around my house today I feel a bit overwhelmed and guilty.  What I'm talking about is mommy guilt.  You know that feeling when you have everything in a delicate balance and then you trip and all your balls go flying everywhere?  Yep, that's what I'm dealing with.  It's tough to balance being a wife, mom and woman.  It's even tougher to balance all the fringe jobs and I'm not even talking about working moms.  They are Gods unto themselves  I can vouch because once upon a time I was one of "them". 

I look back and wonder how the hell I did it!  I must have been high on insomnia because I use to run around with my head chopped off rushing here, there and everywhere.  I was a salaried retail manager working insanely long hours, often times 6 days a week.  Somehow I got it all done.  Or at least that's my perception now.  Sometimes I feel like I may have even done it better. I think my brain likes to lay on the Mommy Guilt THICK! Then again, that was almost two years ago when only one of my kids was in elementary school.  It definitely gets crazier as they get older between school, homework, activities and friends.  I didn't have as much kid juggling to do back then.  Now the time and energy I put into that is the time and effort I once put into a full time paying job.  Sidenote: Why doesn't this mommy gig pay?  How crazy is that?!  This unemployed stay at home mommy gig is exhausting and oftentimes thankless.  At least at work I got a paycheck and the occasional pat on the back. I even occasionally got a break.   However, I wouldn't change this for the world.  I love the time I'm getting with my kids and I'll be lost when I do eventually find a job.  I think they'll be a little lost too.

However, as I look around my living room right now, I feel the mommy guilt building up.  Like I said it's a delicate balance that includes all the fringe jobs.  The ball I drop quite often is housework.  Honestly, I hate it.  Please, please tell me you do too.  It would really make me feel better.  I feel guilty when I see other people's houses that look totally well put together and organized.  Tell me it's all a facade and all their clutter is piled up in the closets and tucked under the bed.  I want that clean, organized, uncluttered look but it's hard to find and even harder to maintain.

Things just find their way here when my back is turned.  I clear it off and within a few minutes days other things appear.

If you're anything like me your house is the cleanest when compay is coming.  It stresses me the hell out though...like I'm on a mission aginst the clock and the punishment will be instant judgement on my housekeeping skills  I'm lucky enough that I believe most of my friends are not like this, but still the anxiety is there.

I have to say though that I feel better after I run crazy through the house before guests arrive. I feel a sense of peace.  Seriously, once I've made the time to de-clutter and clean up I feel so much better.  Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  My house isn't really "dirty" it's just cluttered. Ok, I will confess I hate to dust so that's rarely done unless company's coming or one of the kids offer to do it.  I don't mind sweeping, mopping or vacuuming but they're all hard with my neck/shoulder issue.  It's the back and forth motion that kills me, plus the vacuum is heavy to lug around.  I sweep every day (3 or 4 times) but I only mop or vacuum once every week or two depending on what condition the floors are in.  Goalieboy said he would start helping with the vacuuming but so far that hasn't actually happened.  I'm going to get on him about that tomorrow.  Wish me luck.

Our mail area...most of it is in the blue totes. This spot drives me nuts because I don't know how to get rid of it.

The clutter is killing me.  It's not horrible, horrible but it's an eye sore.  We have a very old house (1890's) and it's not big (once was but converted to a 2 family decades ago).  There are no closets outside the ones in the bedrooms.  It kills me!  I have a shoe rack by the door for mine and hubby's shoes.  The kids each have an over the door shoe holder.  I have a toy chest in the entryway where I put miscellaneous things in and my son's smelly hockey bag goes on top of it.  I can't put it in the basement or my cats will pee on it.  Ewww...I know it's disgusting.  I also have a small armourer I put things in, especially when I de-clutter.  It's like my junk drawer but it's a (mostly organized) cabinet.  The worse area for us is the divider wall (between our living room and "entryway").  That's where everything ends up.  It's a collect all space...mail, paperwork, school work and odds and ends the kids leave lying around.  It kills me. 

The toy chest with Goalieboy's smelly equipment on top.  Where can I hide this thing?!

Seriously, I would kill for a couple closets...one in the entryway and another in the upstairs hallway.  It's pitiful.  Is anyone else singing my toon right now?  Do you feel my pain?  I feel guilty when I pass up tidying  up everyday to spend time with the kids.  I feel guilty when I go de-clutter crazy and it gets in the way of doing things with the kids.  I'll feel a little less guilty in September because I'll try to keep up on it when they're in school.  But seriously, I hate choosing cleaning over the kids. 

It's  delicate balance but I'm getting better at ignoring the guilt and living for the moment.  The clutter, dishes, laundry and dirty floors will ALWAYS be there no matter what I do but my kids will only be young once.  It's becoming my mantra and when I chat it I always feel better. 

***Please tell me I"m not alone***

Why Parents Should GIve Their Children Permission to Fail

Let's all welcome  Deaunna Evans a Super Moms coach and mentor!  Her goal is to help moms eliminate the dreadful 3 D's from their children-defiant, disobedient and disrespectful behavior.  Today she gives us an insight on how to get out of parenting purgatory.  If you're anything like me, and I'm sure you are, you've been there before

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Why Parents Should Give Their Child Permission to Fail


The following conversation is one that every parent should eavesdrop in on, that is if they want to raise rebellion free children and avoid potentially living years in *parenting purgatory. The following is what the proverbial fly on the wall would have overheard in our home the other night.

My husband and I were having a friendly conversation with our 15 year old son when he brought up the topic of a set of gaming headphones he intended to buy. He began describing their awesome features and enthusiastically exclaimed they could be cranked up to insane decibels levels! My husband counseled him to keep the volume at a safe human level, to which he gave the typical teenager response, “Well X, Y & Z friends all have these head phones and their parents …bla….bla…bla…if you have a child you can easily fill in the blanks here. To our credit, we resisted the urge to warp into a parent-child throw-down like our parents did when we were teenagers such as, “Well if X, Y & Z were to jump off a bridge, would you follow?” Instead the conversation went like this:

“Okay son, you can certainly go ahead and blow out your ear drums if you want to. It’s your body and you can treat it as you please. You’ll spend a few hours enjoying the insanely loud blasts and bombs, however, just so you know, you’ll need to be ready to live the next, oh say, 70 years half deaf. Let’s get in a little practice of what your life will be like, shall we? Okay first you’ll need to lean forward, then you’ll need to get this really puzzled- deer in the headlights- look on your face. Next you will mutter this word a couple of times… Huh?…Huh? You’ll probably want to go ahead and learn how to not take it personal when people get frustrated as heck with you when you are constantly saying “Huh” “Huh” over and over in the course of a 2 minute conversation.” By this time he was smiling and had a look of resignation in his eyes. We all had a good laugh and changed the subject.

How awesome was that! This conversation was humorous but more importantly it was void of the power struggle parents often unintentionally instigate. Neither parent nor teen was backed into a corner or forced to openly admit (save face) they were wrong. The outcome of this conversation reaffirms my notion that a parent should never ever, ever try and tell a tween/teenager that they CANNOT do something. Doing so just throws up a veritable irresistible challenge and serves only to give purpose to a teen’s life i.e. a chance to prove their parents wrong; you know, that’s what they live for;-)

By the time a child reaches the ripe old age of tweenager they can sense a parent throw-down like a toddler instinctively knows to start screaming for attention when mommy picks up a telephone. Simply put, wise parents will not issue throw-down’s. Even in the most extreme situations like, “I guess I’ll just pack my bags and leave,” a parent will calmly and without emotion say something like, “yeah…that is an option” and with an empathetic voice, assure the child that he will be missed. The child would then effectively talk himself out of it with “what about food or what about that” questions. (‘That’s an option’ ‘one liner’ example is suggested by the professionals at Love and Logic- a great parenting site.)

Long story short, the gift of agency (freedom to choose) and make decisions about one’s own life rests at the core of human rights, i.e. life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. By giving your teen permission to self destruct or not, you effectively dismantle the teenage time bomb before it gets wired up much less starts ticking. If parents are not laying down the law and telling their child they cannot do something, there is no ‘cause’ to fight for or against, therefore no rebellious uprising. It really is a beautiful thing!

A parent’s responsibility is to not only teach their children, but model great values and principles, and help their child understand consequences associated with their choices. The tricky part is letting go and understanding that the child always has the last say in how he will pursue happiness and therefore own their own consequences.

It’s easy for me to go on record, because I have experienced this over and over with my children, to say that using the principle of agency wisely is the most effective tool in a parent’s toolbox for raising rebellion free children.

Oh, by the way, next time you catch yourself leaning over, with a “deer in the headlights” look on your face, repeating the word ‘huh’ over and over….remember this article and this powerful parenting tip! (lol) Happy Parenting!

*Parenting Purgatory (PP) –n-noun- a place of immense suffering where parents feel trapped, helpless, hopeless and even fearful in some instances. PP is brought about by children who are defiant, disobedient and disrespectful. Please Note: Parents who were once living in PP have been liberated with the help of Super Moms Coaching! Contact Deaunna Evans, The Super Moms Coach Mentor to get a FREE “Get Out of Jail PP FREE Card” Click Here to claim your complimentary parent strategizing session, From Lil’ Monster to Angels- or call 1-800-269-0283 or email info@supermomscoaching.net  http://www.supermomscoaching.net/

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You can also find Deuanna on Twitter @SuperMomsCoach. She is a wonderful and insightful lady.

Fun kids craft

I got this for my daughter, from A.C. Moore, for Christmas.  A friend of hers has it and she played it there during a sleepover.  It was  huge hit so I had to buy it for her.  I knew it would provide hours of fun for her and our son (if she chose to share).

 

It comes with 2 bead packages, 5 peg boards, special paper to iron on, jewels and string.

My daughter decided to use the circle board and create an umbrella.

Her completed craft.

Works in progress.  My daughter's  dolphin and son's bear.

More....

                                                

Easy to do...carefully place pegs onto board.  Cover with special ironing paper.



Gently iron for about 30 seconds on one side and another 15 on other side.



Finished projects.

I highly recommend this as activity for children five and over. Parents will need to do the ironing, unless your child is closer to10 and then I would suggest standing by to make sure they don't burn themselves. I love that my kids can be creative with colors and also think outside the box when creating with this kit.

***This post is my own opinion and not compensated in any way by A.C. Moore or the creators of FunFusion.

Keeping kids active during the summer

This summer one of my goals for my kids, as well as myself, is to stay active. There are many different ways to stay active during the summer. My plan is to keep my kids both physically and mentally active.  This post is about how I'm keeping them physically active.

We started walking our local "rail trail" almost every morning. It's a 3 mile walk one way, 6 miles round trip. I call up a friend or two with kids and we do it together. It helps to have company and I find my kids are distracted by the other kid(s) and I get a mentally relaxing walk with my friend(s).  It's a win/win.

Goalieboy showing the wide open space around us.

Little Bee...always striking a pose.

I also like going with friends because realistically it's safer than a lone woman with two children.  I took them last Friday afternoon after their last day of school.  The weather was a bit overcast and in my mind I though it would be perfect to go when there wasn't too many people out too.  Big mistake going alone.  The first half of the trail is covered with a canopy of trees on either side.  One side is fenced and the other has a wooded incline.  It was really dark.  I started to feel creeped out.  We made it to the quarter mile marker and then I just had to turn around.  I just didn't feel safe.  I think I would've felt better if the sun had been shining and the trail bustling.  Go figure, my logic was half ass backwards.  I learned a lesson from that.

Right now we walk to the mile marker before turning around and heading back.  I think 2 miles at 10 a.m. is perfect.  I don't want the kids to be too tired before the days even half over. Plus, they're scootering while we walk.  Gets out a lot of their morning energy without making them exhausted. We're going to slowly work our way up and hopefully get to the two mile mark in the next week or two.

I love the way these trees shade the first half of the trail.  It keeps the sun off and it's nice and cool.

I've learned a few other surprising lessons.  Unfortunately, they're not good ones.  First, my daughter will scoot her way across the street without an adult if she is racing her brother.  You should have seen the utter shock on my face as I saw her do this.  My son wasn't even actually racing her which almost makes it worse.  We have had many talks about stopping at roads, looking both ways and waiting for mommy/daddy to say it's ok to cross.  I was stunned and upset.  We hollered for her to stop.  When we caught up she didn't even know why I was upset with her.  My heart was in my throat.  She claims she stopped and looked both ways before going.  Honestly, I can't even recall.  We had a long chat right there.  I also told her she was lucky were weren't near the car or I would've blistered her butt for not following rules and scarring me to death.  I would never lay a hand on her like that but I think it got my point across.  The other lesson I learned is we have to establish the boundaries of how far they can scooter ahead before turning around to check on us.  I thought we were clear the first time but I guess we were too abstract.  Now they know and they always turn around to check and then they can continue on if we're close, wait there or turn around and head back towards us.  I think we're now solid on the rules of the trail though I now revisit them every single morning before we start out.

The river running on one side of the trail...down a steep incline.

Besides walking/scooting we have been to friend's houses to run around and play.  They've gotten some swimming in too.  Next week Little Bee starts gymnastics.  We signed Goalieboy up for a two day goalie clinic at a new rink (an hour away, ugh!).  We also plan to have him participate on a weekly 3 on 3 clinic at the same rink.  We're waiting for more information on it. 

Keeping them active and fit is so important.  Goalieboy is my carb kid and though he's by no means fat, he is solid.  Since his last game at the beginning of June, I've noticed a slow down in his energy.  He was tired after his first walk and complaining.  Now, he's getting up to speed.  As his parent, it is my job to help keep him healthy.  So far, so good.

Keeping kids occupied while out eating

Do you ever have trouble keeping your kids from going crazy when you're all out a restaurant? My kids have little patience. They can't seem to figure out how to sit in one place and behave while waiting for the waitress. For them waiting to order, waiting for food and waiting for the check is an losing battle.

I have come up with a few ways to keep them occupied if the wait isn't too long. Here's a couple games we play...

I spy: The person who's turn it is gives out clues. "I spy with my eye something (fill in the blank). Usually we start with a color then the clues may include shape, size, what item may be used for, etc. It can keep them occupied for a few rounds each.

20 questions: The way we play is, the person who is it comes up with something in the room. Everyone else takes a turn asking questions to figure out what it is. We usually start out by determining if "it" us a person, place or thing and whittle down what it could be from there. The person that guesses right goes next, unless (like mine sometimes) they argue over it. Then my rule is youngest to oldest or vice versa.

The alphabet game: This is a new game we started playing last week. First player status with the letter A. Looking around the room they find something (anything, I even include actions and feelings) that begins with their letter. They can choose to pass if they can't come up with something. Advanced version: Alphabet game but the player doesn't reveal what they're thinking for that letter and everyone has to guess. Kind of like 20 questions. It helpful if the player can write down their pick so there's no cheating involved.

We also play lots of tick- tac- toe and connect the dots to close off boxes. I find even at 7 and (almost) 9 it pays to keep them busy while waiting.

Today was a bit trying in that department. They tried to be patient but when it takes forever to be seated, 10 minutes to place order and another 20 for food it's rough. This is why I have a love/hate relationship with Friendly's In our area. We all survived though. Hooray!

How to communicate with your kids

I know this is said all the time but I feel the need to repeat it....keep the lines of communication open with your children.  This is so important.  If you start when they are young, it will be easier in most cases.  I have open discussions with my children about almost everything.  Learn your child's triggers....what they will and won't open up about.  Know the signs that they are internalizing something.  I know it's easier said and done and I know you're child will never truly be open with you about everything.  They do need their privacy as they get older but they should be able to realize what they need to share with you versus what you would like them to share with you.
One important thing I learned last year is that parents do not talk to their younger children about certain things because they think they are too young.  Too young to understand, too young to "tell" or too young for something to happen to them?  All of the above have been given to me for reasons on why they did not discuss certain things with their child.
I have openly discussed many things with my children since they were 3.  This is an age where they are becoming more independent, more social and more curious.  At this point my children were also enrolled in preschool so I knew I had to talk with them because they would have me to supervise them 24/7.  Here are a few things I think you need to speak with your child about at this age:
1. Stranger Danger
2. Inappropriate touching
3. Seeing or hearing things that don't seem right

Let me explain. 
***Stranger Danger is very important for children to know.  There are children who are very welcoming to new people and need to be taught that not every new face is a friend.  My daughter, while shy when meeting new people, had trouble "getting" this one.  We would role play scenarios.  The one we always had a problem with was, "What would you do if someone asked you if you wanted to look at his dog/cat/bunny/etc and it was in his car?".  My daughter would always answer,"Where?! I want to see it!".  Wrong answer. We explained to them that if you didn't know someone you should always find mommy or daddy (someone you know).  You should never talk to a stranger if your mommy or daddy are not with you.  We would discuss that it is important that if you need help then it's ok to talk to a stranger (I know this is hard for them to understand at times).  I make sure they know that if they are in any kind it's ok to go with a police officer or fire person.  I know that sometimes this could be a mistake, but overall it's the right choice.
This advice has gotten my children out of questionable situations more than once.  First time, there was a strange van parked by the end of our long driveway at the end of our dead end street.  My stepdaughter and son were just taking a walk to the end of the drive.  There was a suspicious looking man in the van just watching them.  My stepdaughter said he made her feel very uncomfortable and my son (who was about 5 at the time) said something didn't feel right.  They instinctively knew how to react and came right back to the house.  The van was gone when I went down to check it out. 
Just last Easter a man approached my son at my dad's church's Easter egg hunt.  He just walked up to him, leaned in close to whisper that he liked his haircut.  Weird and so very wrong, right?  Thank goodness someone saw it and told the minister.  It was chaotic out there and only one person noticed it.  The stranger walked off without a care in the world.  No one in the congregation knew who he was.  To this day we don't know if he was a visitor or if he just ambled off the streets.  Scary because who approaches a child that way.

***Inappropriate touching.   I spoke to my children about this at age 3.  Yes, you read that right, age 3.  We discussed privacy even before that.  My children know that no one is ever to see the without their clothes fully on except mommy, daddy or a medical person.  If it's a medical person mommy or daddy will be with them.  No one is ever to touch them in what we call their private sports.  I explained to them that private means something for their eyes only.  It is to be covered because it is for them alone to see.  Obviously, as they get older, we will discuss sex and such.  I've spoken started to ease the way for that conversation with my son but will let my husband handle the more delicate things that is best said between men.  I am very passionate about this subject.  I have family that was abused as children and I will not allow it to happen to my children.  They understand.  I will explain this more in seeing/hearing things that don't seem right. 
Talking about this openly with my children has paid off.  Last year my daughter was eating lunch in the school cafeteria.  She was laughing and having fun with all her friends.  Well, one friend wasn't happy that she wasn't paying him enough attention.  He went under the table and grabbed her private area really hard.  Not only did it hurt but she was mortified.  She knew what he did wasn't right.  She didn't want to get him in trouble but she did the right thing and told the cafeteria aid.  I'm very proud of her.  I know the boy was only 5/6 but he needed to learn you can't touch someone like that.  The school handled it very well and took action to educate and punish.  You have to deal with inappropriate behaviors swiftly and with consequences or a child will continue them.

***Seeing/hearing something that doesn't seem right.  A basic lesson for all kids should be that if something doesn't seem right it probably isn't and you should speak with an adult immediately.  I have given my children guidelines and they know the difference between something that isn't right and tattling.  Yes, it backfires sometimes but better safe than sorry.  I have told my kids that if they are ever threatened by another person (child, adult, I don't care who) they are to get out of the situation and tell me or daddy immediately.  If we are not available they are to tell a trusted adult.  I was very clear in my wording that people will tell them that they were hurt or kill them or their family if they tell.  I told them to agree never to tell if necessary to get out of the situation and then to tell.  Never, never keep it from us.  I told them that once they are with us they are safe and the person threatening them has no power.  There will be know hurting or killing, though I may want to once I find out.  My children have seen how passionate I feel about this.  They need to know I am like a mama lion and will hurt anyone who tries to harm them.
My daughter seems a magnet for these things.  My poor, sweet child.  Just last week one of her friends kept peeking under the bathroom stall at school.  This is most definitely something that doesn't seem right.  Especially after we've discussed privacy rules and how to handle situations. My daughter asked her to stop  several times.  Finally, she was left no choice but to tell her teacher.  In my book, it doesn't matter who is looking under a bathroom stall...it is wrong period.
My son has had some issues too.  First, earlier this year in the school bathroom.  (These places are a danger zone for kids.)  Him and another friend went to use the bathroom.  A kid from another class, same grade was in there.  He threatened to beat them up.  My son knew that he had to tell the teacher and did so.  Just this week, a student in his class was talking trash about him to my daughter during an assembly.  Saying all sorts of nasty stuff.  It's not the first time but we tried turn the other cheek.  I'm done with that.  It's bullying plain and simple.  This child put my daughter into the mix and that was the end of that.  A note went to school with details and the teacher called me.  It was very helpful another classmate overheard and told my son what was going on.  I heard it from them both at the dinner table.  Story was confirmed as true and now the school is dealing with it.  Kudos for my kids for standing up for themselves and one another.
And finally, the big one that happened this weekend.  My daughter went to a friend's house after school Friday.  She's been there many times without an incidents.  She was supposed to be home at 6:30 but the mom sent me a text and asked if she could go with them to her sister in laws house because the girls were having such a great time.  I thought nothing of it and said ok.  I thought it was the sister in law I had met before and who's daughter's my daughter gets along with great.  I learned a lesson there...verify where your child is going.  Still, I know the mom is very vigilant and responsible when it comes to my daughter.  She treats her like her own.  When my daughter got out of the car it seemed like all was good.  I found out differently minutes after we came inside.  She told me how her friend's older brother (he's 12) and the cousin (girl 11) were watching something inappropriate on tv.  I had her go through the whole story.  The older kids were in the parents bedroom watching the Lady Gaga concert.  The girls were sneaking in to spy on them.  Typical kid things.  The first time they were chased out something was on the screen that was partially blacked out.  I've never seen it so I'm not sure which scene this is.  Both girls saw that before they were told to leave.  Then they snuck back.  Only my daughter saw the tv this time, her friend was behind her.  They must have switched channels and my daughter saw a woman going down on a man.  It was obvious on how she explained it.  No 6 year old can make something like that up.  She said a woman was kissing and licking a man's pee pee.  And it was disgusting, she said.  She knew it was something she shouldn't see.  I guess the cousin told her not to tell or she'd be in trouble.  We still haven't sorted that whole part out.  I'm so glad she listened to me and came to me with it.  I believe my response showed her that she can always come to me and I will take care of it.  Nothing bad will happen to her or me.  I'm so proud of her because I know she was uncomfortable, worried and scared, but she did the RIGHT thing.  I spoke with the friend's mom and she was horrified.  She handled it and I know it's not her fault or something that goes on in her house.  We all learned a tough lesson that day.  I'm thankful that my daughter doesn't seem scarred from the experience.  I'm thankful my husband took it well when I told him and didn't rip someone's head off.  I'm glad the mother listened and took action.

In the end the message is always the same...talk to your children about these tough subjects.  They need to be prepared on how to react if and when something like these incidents come up.  Trust me, they will be in one of these unfortunate positions at some point in their lives.  Give them the tools to respond properly to them.  When the grabbing incident happened to my daughter I was horrified that most of my friends told me they had never even thought to talk to their children about this.  I'm saddened by this.  The earlier they know the better.  There are so many children being abused in different ways and it's usually by someone they know.  Trust me, I know this to be true.  Please speak with your children.  It can cause you and, most importantly, them a lot of heartache.

Angels and Devils

If you're kids are anything like mine they have their ups and downs. Those sweet precious moments you just want to cherish forever. And then there are those moments where you wonder who's child is standing in front of you because you know you taught them to behave better than that. When you have more than one you get a great variety of moments sprinkled with LOTS of sibling drama.
My children definitely have moments on both ends of the spectrum. I think most of the more dramatic moments happen when they are together. Here are some of those moments...

***Daddy is play wrestling with son and goes a bit overboard. Who jumps in to save him but his sister (2 yrs younger and 45 lbs lighter!). She will launch herself through the air and onto Daddy's back. She will pummel him so her big brother can get away. Sweet, right? That is until Daddy gets a bit too rough with her (he sometimes forgets they're kids) and she will beg her brother so save her. So, where is her knight in shining armor? The one she just saved minutes before. You guessed it, staying as far out of the action as possible. You see, this particular knight's armor is a bit tarnished. He will not be saving or defending any distressed princesses.

***When one of my kids go to the doctor without the other one they always ask for a sticker and lollipop for the other. My heart melts every time and the nurses always tell them they're a good brother/sister.
***Also, if I take one of them to the store they never ask for a treat just for themselves. They always make sure to ask me to get something for both of them.

***If they go to the school store or on a field trip they always want to buy the other something.

***Some weekend mornings are great around here! The kids will either be playing the Wii, watching TV together or playing imaginary thing. I love it. The inevitable downfall is a fabricated argument of some sort. To the point of shouting, crying and name calling. Ugh! There are those moments I wish they would just play separately and ignore each other but thankfully those moments pass quickly.

***My kids enjoy playing games together. But god forbid one of them doesn't quite follow the rules (intentionally or otherwise). All hell breaks lose. And let's not even talk about sore losers, or sore winners. Sore winners are the ones that gloat in your face that you lost, they beat you, you suck, they're better than you, etc. That kills me and is not acceptable in our house. It breaks my heart when the loser cries not only because they didn't win but when that the winner rubs it in. My son is usually the evil culprit of this. We do not play that way. You can celebrate winning but don't be nasty about it.

Siblings definitely have their love/hate moments. The hate ones are more often than I'd like and never pass quickly enough but I bathe in the glow of the love moments. I wish I could find a way to bottle it and then sprinkle it over them when the bad moments come. This mommy doesn't want quiet all the time but I would do almost anything for love, piece and happiness all the time.
One of my favorite saying is my children have devil horns and angles wings. Oh, and those halos you see above their heads...yep, they're a bit tarnished but that's ok. They're working on polishing them up a bit as they get older. The good news is...I think my kids are normal, well adjusted kids

What to do, what to do?

An unexpected day of of school can be a parent's nightmare.  Especially if the weather is too bad to take your child(ren) outside to burn off excess energy.  Sometimes it's not possible to send them outside to play or hop in the car and take a drive someplace fun where they can run around and socialize with other kids.
So, every parent's question is, "How can I keep them from getting bored and driving me (and each other) nuts?  That my friends, is the million dollar question for all. 
This winter (now Spring) has kept me on my toes with all the snow days, early dismissals and two hour school delays.  The calendar may now say Spring but we had snow 3 out of the last 5 days.  Yesterday, my kids were released from school early and today they went in late.  All because Mother Nature must be on vacation and forgot to update the weather chart, which I'm sure she keeps on her office wall.
Here's a list of things I like to do to keep my kids entertained and engaged:

1. Picnic for lunch-We spread a blanket out on the rug in the living room. I like to have a variety of kid friendly finger foods: strawberries, grapes, finger sandwiches, cubed cheese, crackers, pepperoni and more.
2. 
   Board Games-Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Scrabble Flash, Jenga, Dominos, Bingo, Checkers, Monopoly and Sorry are just a few favorites in our house.
3. Baking-Chocolate chip cookies, brownies, cake, cupcakes and more.  My children enjoy frosting and decorating goodies before gobbling them up.
4. Cooking-Both my love to help me prepare dinner.  I haven't gotten to the point of having them chop anything up yet but they do enjoy washing veggies, adding ingredients, setting timers and stirring pots.
5. Coloring-I like to buy a few large activity coloring books that they can pull out on days they're stuck indoors.
6. Computer Worksheets-Believe it or not my kids enjoy doing these.  Even my 8 year old son who "hates" school.  I think he likes it because it's just for fun and it's not homework.
7. Arts and Crafts-I have a box dedicated to arts and crafts.  It's filled with the essentials like: paper, crayons, markers, glue, stickers, foam and fabric pieces, googly eyes, yarn, Popsicle sticks and more.  Whenever I'm at A.C. Moore or Michael's I'll pick up a craft kit or two if they're on sale.  My kids like to paint ceramics, sun catchers, door signs, and more.
8. Puzzles-I always have these on hand.  It keeps them busy for a while.  I like to get ones that are a little challenging for their age but not too hard where they give up quickly. 
9. Puzzle books-Word finds, mazes and easy crossword puzzles are a keeper.
10. Movie Day with Popcorn-Yum
11. Building forts using blankets and couches/chairs-Lots of fun and creative imagination.
12. Dance Party-Whether it's the radio, Cd's or ipod the kids love turning on the radio, singing and dancing around all crazy.
13. Dress up-My daughter loves to dress up and play princess.  She'll put on a fashion show or have a tea party with all of her babies.  I'll do her hair, nails and makeup too for the total girlie experience.
14. Wii-Though I try to limit video game and computer usage these can be active and interactive on bad weather days.  I love the wii because it gets the kids moving.

The most important thing to remember is keep your child engaged and you're day will go much smoother and you're kids will be happier.  Just have fun and make it a special day together.

A little about Me...the Basics

I started this blog about 9 months ago and haven't kept up with it like I should.  I love to write and once upon a time wanted to be an author or journalist.  A demanding job and family will put you on a different course.  No complaints there.  But, I did (and do) want to get back to writing for enjoyment.  I want to share my days as a wife, mother, daughter, etc.  Writing and sharing helps me get my thoughts in order and work things out.  Hopefully you will laugh, cry and commiserate with me.  I don't live a perfect life.  I am not a perfect mom, wife or daughter.  I can be selfish, argumentative, stubborn and mean. I can be blunt and don't always sugar coat things.  But, I'm also happy, supportive, funloving, and proud of who I am.  Us moms, no matter how different we are, need to stick together.  There's no actually manual to being a mother, wife or daughter....it's on the job training without combat pay.  So dive in.  There's no time like the present!

A little about the life I juggle:

1.  I'm 36 years old
2.  Married 8 yrs/together 10 yrs
3.  I have a wonderful 16 yr old stepdaughter who joined my life when she was 6.  I refer to her as SD or SD16.  She stays with us Saturday to Sunday every other week.  Sometimes we see her more and I get giddy inside when that happens.  I feel priviledged that she still comes and devasted when she can't make it. She loves her brother and sister and is an awesome big sister.  I'm proud to call her daughter!  She loves to dance, gossip, and text (ALL day long!!).
4.  My son is 8.  He's DS or DS8.  He's in 3rd grade and is constantly getting in trouble for talking and not staying focused.  He is the bain of my existance some days and I love him to pieces!  He also has minor hearing issues that we still haven't fully resolved.  He gets speech and reading help at school and an ELA tutor outside school once a week.  He's been skating since he was 5.  Playing hockey since he was 5 1/2 and goalie for 2 years.  He's a natural, many people tell them this.  I think he feels pressue from the expectations at times so I remind him to just have fun!  He loves HOCKEY, goalies and the NJ Devils.
5.  My daughter is 6.  I call her DD or DD6.  She is in 1st grade and a cute handful.  She has many friends and the boys are wrapped around her tiny finger.  She is a fast learner and I always worry she is going to surpass DS8 and it will wreck his self confidence.  She's a firecracker and will speak her mind.  I don't think I'll have to worry about her being bullied.  She has been skating since she was 5.  After a year and a half she is at Basic Level 6.  She will be in her first skating competition next month.  She loves school, homework, Webkins and Littlest Pet Shops.
6.  I have been out of work since Oct 2009.  I reinjured (original injury March 2006)  myself at my job and was told to take leave until my doctor cleared me to go back to work.  It's been an uphill battle since then.  I have pains in my neck and shoulder plus a previous back injury to boot (also on the job).  I received a notice just the other day by comp that their doctor says I am fine and should go back to work with no restrictions.  2 problems...my company released me in November and my doctors don't feel I'm ready to go back to full duty until I complete another series of PT that comp won't authorize and a work conditioning program.  So, I live in fear of what is going to happen to my income.  I've been trying to find a job since some work restrictions were lifted back in Jan 2010 and still have yet to find anything.  It's so disheartening and scary.  I live with constant fear that everything is going to tumble down around us.

***So this is a little about me and who I am.  Follow my blog to get a better insight and feel free to offer support, advice and words of encouragement.