Thursday, October 20, 2011

Dear Son, You Make Me So Proud

Dear Son,

As you sleep tonight I look in on you and am overwhelmed with the love I feel for you.  I just had to snuggle with you for a few minutes and whisper my thoughts to you.

I am so proud of who you are.  I know sometimes I am hard on you but it’s because I want you to be the best you can be.  I want to push you so that you don’t give up on your dreams.  I know you have it in you and sometimes you fear failure.  I want you to know it’s ok to fail.  We learn from our failures and mistakes. 

We grow from them and overcome obstacles we never thought we could hurdle over.  I think you are starting to understand that nothing worth having comes easy.  You have to work hard for what you want and never give up.

You’ve come so far this school year.  You are showing what I’ve known has been hidden behind the surface all along.  You are learning to believe in yourself.  I think you are starting to see what I’ve been telling you all along.  I will always be your biggest cheerleader, pushing you on to the finishing line.

I’m watching you grow and mature before my very eyes and the transformation has come about quickly, in just the past 6 weeks.

You amaze me.  I hope you amaze yourself.  I hope you see, hear and feel my pride.  You are becoming a stronger student.  You are not giving up.  You are learning control and focus.  Something you’ve struggled with so much in the past years.  Your teachers gave me lots of positive feedback when I met with them 2 weeks ago.  They say you are attentive and actively participate in class.  They do not see a major problem with lack of focus, nor with distractions to yourself and others (such as talking out of turn).  This is a major stride for you.  Be proud.  Own it. 

At home you are starting to help out more without me having to beg, proud or guilt.  I appreciate it so much.  I know there are things you don’t want to do but you do it because you know it helps me.  Now that I’m working again and daddy’s working 2 job it’s great to have a helping hand.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You are a wonderful older brother too.  Yes, there are times you are not so nice, when you push your younger sister’s buttons or hurt her feelings.  But, those are part of being a sibling and I know that.  On Saturday mornings, I can hear you two laughing together as you play or watch television.  You can make her laugh when she’s crying by being dramatically funny.  Her tears forgotten and belly laughs ensue.  That is a special gift you have, use it wisely.

Tears are in my eyes as I write this because you will always be my baby boy.  You were such a happy confident baby and toddler.  You started to struggle as your hearing difficulties became more obvious.  I know there are times you’ve used it as a crutch or a reason to give up.  I know that it was hard for you when you started wearing glasses, then bifocals and then a month later a hearing aid.  I know you struggled with your self image and how others perceived you.  I think getting the two hearing aids over this past summer and having the time to become comfortable with them outside of school has really helped.  I believe having a wonderful one on one summer school teacher that believed in you did amazing things for your self confidence.  He helped you see what we have known is there.  I will be forever grateful to him.

Honestly, I feared the day would never come when you would actively choose to read a book quietly on your own.  There was a short time last year but it was with easier, shorter books. Once those books were done, you’re interest in reading quickly faded.  You actually told me today that there were 2 books that you were looking forward to reading.   Two books that we not “Big Nate’ books.  Though I have to say, those are the books that started it this year for you.  I am so glad you asked your friend to borrow it because you’ve been immersed in them for the last few weeks.  Now you’ve found a school library book and a classroom book that you are excited to read.  I couldn’t be happier.  Reading should bring joy.  It should offer up new worlds for you to dive into and explore.  I hope it is something that you will continue to enjoy with pleasure for years to come.

Looking at you asleep tonight, I see all my hopes and dreams of a bright future for you.  I want you to be strong.  Positive. Proud. A Leader.  A Believer.  A Fighter that goes after what he wants and lets nothing stand in his way, especially himself.

I love you.  I’m proud of you.  I always am.  I always will be.  I am your biggest fan.  Your champion.

Love you from here to Eternity and back,


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