Sunday, January 08, 2012

Give Me Strength

Do you ever feel like you're in a race you have no hope in winning or even completing?  Do you feel like you're constantly going in circles with a few hills and lots of gullies?  Do you feel hope only to have it repeatedly dashed? Do you feel like you're on track only to get knocked off?

This seems to be the routine of my life during the last few years. I don't know which way is up.  I feel like I'm constantly  fighting the current tugging me backwards and under.

I struggle to pull ahead. I find myself in a good place. I'm happy. Only to get side swiped and pulled down.

I want to please everyone and make them happy but I can't. I can't seem to even hold on to my own happiness.

I feel critical of others and I don't know why. 

I just want to be complete. I want to be happy. I want to feel at peace with myself and others.

Is it me?  Is there something wrong with me?  Is it them?  Is it us?

I just don't know anymore. I'm lost and there's no road map. I need a helping hand but I don't know where to turn.

My manta to live by is:  Stay strong.  Focus on the positives. And, this too shall pass.

God doesn't give us more than we can handle. This I believe.

3 comments:

Paula said...

He doesn't give us more than we can handle -it just feels that way sometimes!

Jen Marshall Duncan said...

Hang in there. You named this blog the juggling act for a reason!

I feel, every day, like a hamster running in a squeaky wheel. I run and run and run and never really get anywhere--or so it feels. Just keep going. It's all we can do. I believe that my children will some day move out and I will be able to relax and find myself again, maybe.... Until then I just keep going, keep believing that all the running will eventually lead to something good--like happy, healthy adult children who visit me with grandbabies and then go back to their own homes/squeaky wheels :D Eyes on the prize, keep your eyes on the prize...

Mommy's Juggling Act said...

Thank you both! There are times I just get so overwhelmed and I want to cry. I know I'm not alone in this. Being a wife and mom is the hardest job I've ever had but I wouldn't change it for the world. The last 10 days have been much better.