Do you ever just wake up in the morning in a mood, be it good, bad or otherwise? Lately, my main mood is tired. As I've posted, my son hasn't been sleeping well because of nightmares. Therefore, I haven't been sleeping well. It's gotten better but I'm still exhausted. Enough said.
This morning I woke up around 6 because said son wanted to climb into bed with us. Husband had a rare day of going into work late. So, I slid over and he snuggled up to me for a while before the two of them were up and off to watch tv and eat breakfast.
I layed there half asleep, willing myself to go back to bed. It wasn't to be had of course. So, I do what I always do when I'm tired in bed and can't sleep. I got on my handy dandy phone and checkout out twitter and facebook. I'm a self proclaimed twitter addict.
However, I had one of those "lost in a moment" moments when I went onto facebook. For those of you have been reading my blog a while you'll know about my ex-bullying mommy friend. We're no long friends on facebook and she blocked me. Which I'm more than fine with. However, we share a few mutual friends. It breaks my heart when I see posts that she's obviously responding too. I don't miss the friendship. That's not what gave me pause or put me into the moment. It's the feeling of waste. The time and energy I wasted in that friendship. The effects it had on both of my children. I mourn the peace on the block. It's hard to be neighbors with this family.
Seeing this just put me in a sad mood. I miss not feeling comfortable walking past their house or seeing them in the school yard. I miss my kids being friends with theirs. Not because they needed those friendships but because of the peace and comfort of everyday life.
Conflict makes me sad and uncomfortable. Does this make sense? I've moved past the moment but will forever mourn the past. Hopefully one day, I will be fully comfortable and at peace again.
Do you have someone in your life that makes you feel this way?