It wasn't on the days original agenda. See, ORIGINALLY, the plan was to take the kids and meet up with a good friend and her daughter. We were so excited. We try to get together every few weeks but it's hard to get the kids together. We live about a half hour apart and we're usually booked solid with other things on the weekend. We plan play dates during breaks/vacations. Well, hubby told me at the very last minute that he'd be off from work, so I cancelled our plans. I'm a firm believer on putting family first and it was supposed to be a family day.
Too bad it wasn't meant to be. I woke up after the kids and came downstairs to hang out with them so hubby could rest. He game down 30 minutes later, grabbed a quick bite to eat and announced he had to run to the bank to "move some money around" so our mortgage check wouldn't bounce. 45 minutes later (kids are fed and playing board games) he calls to announce he's going to stop at the gym for a workout. Then he'll be home for lunch before taking Goalie Boy to sticks and pucks at the rink. Then they would come home for an hour or so before heading over to a friend's house to watch the hockey game. Well, there went family day. If I'd known, I wouldn't have cancelled my original plans and would've just made it a girls day out.
I didn't let it get me down. The kids wanted to play outside since the sun decided to come out of hiding. I figured it was as good a time as any to get some Spring cleaning done. I didn't realize how much I had bite off until it was too late but I wasn't going to stop. Probably didn't help I was PMSing (yes, I'll admit to that). Once I get in a cleaning mood during that time of the month I run with it. I never know when I'll see it again.
I tuned my Direct Tv to 80's music and decided to tackle the living room. No easy feat. I haven't done more than minimal cleaning (vacuuming, decluttering) since November. I pulled all the furniture out of the room and had it dusted and vacuumed when hubby came back from the gym. He made us pizza for lunch. He put a load of laundry in the wash and then off the guys went to the rink. Little Bee was invited by a friend to go to the park so I figured perfect timing to finish the living room up and sweep and mop the living room.
I got the living room steam cleaned and put back together before everyone got back. I also decluttered and tossed dime stuff out. I was sore, but feeling good about what I had accomplished.
Then it happened. Hubby brought a friend of Goalie Boy's home. I wouldn't normally mind but I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen floor. Hubby decided OT was a fine time for him to shower and do things upstairs while the boys ran in and out of the house. He expected me to stop everything I was doing. That's when my day fell apart. Here I was sweeping, mopping, doing dishes and trying to keep 2 energetic boys in line. I was really upset when hubby announced they had to leave to go watch the game because he gave them no time to clean up their mess. They tossed everything into our shed and never picked up my son's bedroom. Hubby thought I was overreacting. That hurt. He didn't try to understand where I was coming from or support me. Being on time to pick up the pizza he ordered and go to the friends house was more important. He was sending a message that it was ok to make a mess and leave it. I was.hurt and upset.
The straw that broke the camels back was after they left. I had mentioned to my husband that I would appreciate if he brought up the dirty clothes he took our of his trunk and left in the front hallway. Also, if he could make the bed. He did neither of these things. I seriously sat down and cried. I felt invisible, like my wants, needs, feelings were nonexistant. It's not right. I understand he works his butt off for us and I would too if I could find a job. But this is the pattern that has been going on forever. Even when I worked 60 hours a week too. It's so frustrating. The most he does around the house is to throw a few loads of laundry into the washer and dryer here and there. Occasionally, he may clear the table, wash dishes or fold laundry. I appreciate when he does these things. I wish he would do yard work, lend a hand around the house one day a week. Make it a family thing. I don't think he's showing our kids a good example on a male's role in the house.
I was honest and told him how I felt. He says he's sorry and he'll try harder. Unfortunately, this is not the first time we've had this conversation. I'm going to try to stay positive and hope things change.
Am I alone in feeling this way? My dad worked continuous shift when I was growing up. He never seemed to be home. However, I clearly remember him mowing the lawn, trimming the bushes, doing lawn care, vacuuming, doing laundry. My husband use to do these things years ago but it stopped when my parents lived with us and it's never been the same sense.
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