Friday, June 08, 2012

What Do You Do When Things Get Bad? What Do You Do??


How do you respond to a text that reads:  Don't want you to worry when you come home and I'm not there. Somethings not right so I'm at the doctors right now.

How do you respond when he says, the doctor thinks its this and showed me a picture but its not nearly as bad, I think he's wrong. 

What do you do when the next day he breaks down scared and lost. 

What do you do when he says you should've seen the look in the doctor's eyes when I showed him what's wrong.

What do you do when he shifts uncomfortably constantly because the symptoms are worse.  Now there's sharp pain and tightness in his legs, stomach and other areas.  He can't sleep.  He stresses over getting to work.  Doesn't want to go to the ER because the pain is too much.

What do you do when he's broken down crying, ready to give in and give up?

*****
I FIGHT!  I TRY TO STAY STRONG.  I HOLD HIM. I LISTEN.  I PUSH.  I REMIND HIM OF ALL HE HAS. I CRY WITH HIM. I HOLD HIS HAND.  I'M JUST THERE.  I REFUSE TO GIVE UP OR GIVE IN.  I SHOW HIM I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE. I'LL BE HIS STRENGTH IN TROUBLED TIMES. I WILL HOLD ON AND LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY.
*****

I sob inside and pray to God for strength, understanding, compassion, healing and more.

As of now, we have no answers. Hopefully he'll have tests done today and maybe get some meds. 

We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary a few weeks ago. We went away as a family for a wonderful quick getaway over Memorial Day. Yesterday was Little Bee's 8th Birthday.  My stepdaughter graduates high school tomorrow. Goalieboy turns 10 at the end of July.  All I want is my husband healthy.   Please dear God, answer my prayers. We need him. He's our glue, our rock.

4 comments:

Philippa said...

I am so sorry. I stumbled upon your blog and this was the first thing I read. I will be praying for you and your family.

Philippa said...

I am so sorry. I stumbled upon your blog and this was the first thing I read. I will be praying for you and your family.

Bee K said...

Thank you so much Philippa for stopping by and reading. We're taking it one day at a time right now. Impatiently awaiting blood test results. Hoping for answers so we can move forward.

Awkward and Random said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. May the answers come soon!