So, I finally filed...

Well, I finally did it. I didn't want to do it but I did. I filed. I hate having to do it. What, did I file do you ask? I finally filed for unemployment. Being out on worker's comp, I didn't know I was even eligible for unemployment. That is a definite plus about having a lawyer finally. He told me a few weeks ago I could file but I had some problems understanding it on the computer. I was going to go down to the local office but that's the day I had to take my car in for the tire issue and ended up spending all morning and most of the afternoon there. The hard thing about calling the unemployment line is that you can only call on certain days of the week, depending on the first letter of your last name. i missed it last week due to PT and a few other things. But, I'm on track now. I filled it all out to the best of my ability through the automated portion and then verified a few things with the nice lady who reviewed it with me. She was so helpful. She gave me their fax number and told me the paperwork I should send over concerning my comp claim. They need a doctors note releasing me to work with restrictions and a C-8 form from worker's comp. At first I didn't think I had a C-8 form but the lady told me what it looked like and sure enough I did have one. Yippee!


I hate being considered "unemployed" but my bank account is now under $300 and I'm only getting a check for $152/week which is nothing.

I'm starting to worry about the money issue. I mean, it's always been in the back of my mind but I've tried not to think about it. Any money I have goes towards....groceries (I buy the majority of whatever we need), electric, gas for my car and whatever the kids needs are (clothes, shoes, presents, etc). Sigh. It's going to start getting really tight! I thank God every day that I saved most of the tax money I got back last year. I had wanted to spend it on bunk beds (among other things) for the girls since my daughter is outgrowing her toddler bed (she's tiny but definitely in need of a twin bed now) but something had me holding off over the summer and early fall. I told myself it was because I hadn't found the right bed. But I guess it was because I had an eerie feeling I'd need it for something else.

To make matters worse, my husband may be in jeopardy of losing his job. I pray it doesn't happen. He may be a poor husband at times but he's a really good manager. I know because he's won numerous awards for various companies over the years plus I worked for the same company years back. I think his company is trying to cut costs and they think the way to do it is to get rid of those making larger salaries. I hope this doesn't happen.

Too much to do, so little time!

Stop the Earth...I want to get off!  Is it just me or is today's life getting busier and busier?  I know it's not just me.  The American culture today just seems to go at a break neck speed and if you can't keep up then your trampled on.  By that I think you feel used up, stressed out and ready for a breakdown.  Let's be honest here...most of us feel this exact way.  If we don't hang on for dear life our life will run away out of contol, leaving us on the floor. 

I can honestly say that I'm right at that point most days.  And that is sad, considering that I was working a full time job up until 6 months ago.  Before that, 3 1/2 years ago, I had a fast paced salaried job where I was rarely home for my two small children (newborn and 2 yrs old).  Looking back, I wonder how I made it through any of that time.  I'm going insane what's on my plate right now.  I guess, when push comes to shove you do what you got to do.  The question is, why has it come to this?  It's no wonder that heart disease is a serious issue in the U.S. When "we" (corporate america?) decided that people needed to start becoming more time efficient everything went out the window.
There is a limit to how efficient we can be.  The constant strain on our minds and bodies to push further is effectively deteriorating our body and slowly killing us.  The stress alone is tremendous!  I stepped down from my salary position because I couldn't keep up mentally, physically or emotional with the constant needs of my job.  On top of that  I had all the demands of my young children at home. 
I love working, don't get me wrong, but our children need a constant, stable parenting model at home.  I don't care if it's mom, dad or another adult living within the household.  I don't think that homemakers are given enough positive credit.  They work hard and I wish they could collect a govenment stippen.  I think children in these homes with responsible role models have more going for them where both their parents are under tremendous pressure at work and rarely home during daylight hours.  Yes, I know there are many people sitting at home right now collecting government money, not willing to work and could care less about their children running wild and getting into trouble.  These are not the people I am talking about.  I think have a parent at home is such a positive thing for our children.  They learn their limits and are accountable for their actions.  Also, the rules are the rules and they aren't getting told different rules by different people (babysitters, etc). It helps create consistancy which is badly lacking in today's families.
I'm heading back to work shortly.  I'm assuming it will be within the next 6-8 weeks.  My mother and father will be the ones that will help my children get ready for school in the morning once again.  I am lucky to have their help.  I can only hope and pray that they will willingly stick to the rules and routines I have set up for school days. 
I am going to have fun readjusting back to the old juggling act.  I didn't miss it and to be honest, I am juggling a lot right now without work.  I have doctor's visits, physical therapy and a whole bunch of other things to keep me running.
I am so happy I've had this time with my children.  I hope I will remember to take the time and slow down so I can enjoy it.  I can honestly say that I am a person that stresses under pressure.  I wasn't like this before I had children.  It wasn't so hard for me to juggle my personal and professional life, such as it was.  Children change everything.  It is so much better now but it's hard to say no to anything.  I am trying to breathe easier and stick to my mantra that family comes first.  If I can do that and not let the little things get to me, then I think I'll be ok.