First Day of School Traditions

Today I sent my kiddos off to their first day of school.  Fourth grade for Goalieboy and Second grade for Little Bee.  Oh how hard it was.  For me that is, not them.  Somehow I made it through.  The ritualistic school morning sibling arguments helped some.  It drove me a little nuts but made it so I didn't get all teary eyed.  The bickering is part of the tradition here. *laughing*

Tradition #1....Backpacks packed up and placed by their bedroom doors.

Tradition #2...New outfits layed out ready to wear.

Tradition #3...Special bedtime story together. Normally we do a first day of school book but this year it was a chapter in Little Bee's Little House on the Praire book.

Tradition #4...Mommy wakes up early and prepares a special hot breakfast for the big day Today it was homemade chocolate chip waffles. I was too tired from lack of sleep to take pictures.

Tradition #5...First day of school pictures and LOTS of them!  I always include certain poses with the backpacks. Indoors and outdoors. The rain spoiled most of the outdoor pictures. *Wahhhh!!! And I forgot to take pictures of the lunchboxes with the backpacks!  Always a tradition.  I'll rectify that oversight later.

I held back tears as we walked to school.  there they are off.  This is always a bitter sweet day for me.  It's hard to let them go.  I wish summer could last forever (but without all the nasty heat and humidity!).

Tradition #6....Didn't happen this year.  The school wouldn't let parents into the building when I arrived.  I've ALWAYS taken a picture of them sitting at their new desk the first day of school.  I love saying "Hi" to their new teachers.  Not this year.  By no rhyme or reason I couldn't go in.  This happened to some of my mom friends last year and I was so upset for them.  This year it happened to me. I found out later that some parents made it in and others didn't.  I want to cry.  The only good that came of it was that I didn't get teary eyed while they were getting settled in, since I couldn't see it. But I'm still hurt and upset at the insensitivity of the school and their lack of communication.  Either parents are allowed or they're not...no picking and chosing.  It's just not right.

And now I wait for the time where I head to school to pick them up.  I know they'll be excited chatterboxes.  What they thought of their teachers, who is in their class, what they did their first day and so much more.  I'm excited to hear it all.

What are your first day of school traditions?

It's Here, Are You Ready

The first day of school is finally upon us.  I spent the whole night getting ready.  My stomach is in knots but I'm we're as prepared as we can be.

1.  Supplies purchased, labeled and placed nicely in backpacks.-Check

2.  Back to school outfits selected and hung out.  Wrinkle free of course. -Check

3.  New shoes ready by the door. -Check

4.  Hairstyle agreed upon for Little Bee. -Check

5.  Showers -Check

6.  Lunches agreed upon and packed. -Check

7.  Story time. -Check

8.  Alarms set-Check

9.  Kiddies tucked into bed with extra kisses, hugs and giggles. -Check, Check, Check

10. Special breakfast planned.-Check
 
11. Mommy re-running through the list. -Check

12. Mommy trying not to get emotional before the first day has started. 

Are you and your kiddies ready for school to start?  Have you started yet?  Good luck to all the new and old students out there.  Good luck to the parents of all.  And definitely, good luck to the teachers!  Some of you may really need it.

Worries for a New School Year

I'm so terribly sad that summer is coming to an end.  Yes, my kids drive me totally insane from the end of June until the beginning of September but I do love having them around.  Crazy as it sounds, it's true. I'm not ready for school to begin.  I'll miss having them around during the day.  I'll miss being able to do what we want, when we want.  However, I know the routine is needed and in it's own way welcomed for us all.  However, for me, every school year brings with it a list of worries and anxieties. 

School starts back Tuesday.  I am filled with sadness, regret and anxiety.  The sadness and regret come from not being able to fill their summer with more fun activities and get aways.  I know in reality they had a great summer without the amusement parks, day trips, long beach filled vacations  but still I feel guilty.  Sigh.  I wish we had money to get away from it all.  We did have a week off and went away for 3 days.  It was amazing and we'll never forget the fun we had.

My husband's work hours don't allow for much(2 jobs, one salaried management position) plus I'm still unemployed.  It hurts though.  I remember being young and not being able to go all the fun places my classmates went because we didn't have money.  Thing is, I know I still had a fun filled summer just that most of it was spent in our backyard.  Someday soon I hope we can splurge on our kids.  We've never taken a vacation longer than 4 or 5 days.  We've never been on a cruise or out of the country together.  But, we get by and have our own fun close to home. I have to focus on that.  Right now the most important thing is that we have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and each other.

This year I had a very limited back to school budget.  I'm very lucky that my friends with older girls have passed down a lot of cute clothes for my daughter.  That has helped a bunch.  I only bought her 2 new shirts, a pair of gym pants, socks, sneakers and dressy boots.  My son is growing like a weed so I am slowly rebuilding his wardrobe.  Nothing from last year fits him except a few shirts and his shorts.  Over the last month I've purchased 3 pairs of jeans, 5 shirts, socks, 3 gym pants, 2 gym shorts and a pair of sneakers.  I need to still get him another pair of shoes(he's 9 and already in a size 6!!)  and a fall coat.

As far as school supplies go, I had a surplus from years past.  Plus, our community has a really nice back to school event where they give out free backpacks filled with various supplies.  I didn't have to pick up too much at our local Walmart/Target. 

I'm dreading this new year.  Goalieboy is starting 4th grade.  I'm praying this year goes smoothly for him.  He is filled constantly with anxiety and I don't want it to grow as the year goes on.  I have to call our insurance company and see what's covered for therapy.  I'm scared to find out, as we have a deductible plan.  I'm praying therapists are different and there's a co-pay involved.  He really needs someone to talk to.  He has trouble falling asleep most nights.  It breaks my heart when he begs for one of us to lay down with him until he falls asleep.  He's always worrying about fire, burglary and such.  As the start of school grows closer his anxieties heighten.  I don't want him to worry about those things.  Prepared, yes but worried to the point of anxiety, no.  A lot hinges on this new year and how things flow.  I hope his teachers work with him and understand him.  I hope his classmates are not mean and judgemental.  I know in the back of his mind he is worried about being teased about his hearing aids.  My heart breaks.  Kids should not have to worry about these things.  Why are some kids so cruel to others?

Finally, I find that I am overly anxious for the beginning of a new year.  I am live with anxiety that my children may have problems this year with friends and academics.  These are fears I lived with as a child and I feel them build inside me again but for them this time. 

As I said, my son has struggled in years past.  Last year wasn't the best.  I'm still in amazement that his teacher called me the second to last week of school to tell me a para caught him racing through his morning work to avoid having to complete it during lunch.  He failed the work.  She had him redo it.  Guess what...he then aced it.  Hmmmm....wonder why.  I truly believe this was a big issue most of the year.  I believe he was doing this most of the school year.  Either, no one paid attention to it or no one cared enough to wonder why it was happening.  Consistently he was coming home with roller coaster grades.  If a child is participating in class, seems to have a handle on the material and then (nearly) fails the worksheets/tests do you think there could be a problem you're overlooking?!  Yep and the end of the year is too late to address and rectify the issue.  I'm still ticked.  I believe a good teacher would see the signs and try to find out what's going on.  But, hey, I could be wrong.  I'm not a teacher after all.  I'm still upset though.

My final worry....I have been searching high and low since the teacher letters were sent home 2 weeks ago for anyone in my daughter's second grade class.  Scouring high and low.  Facebooking, texting and calling friends.  No luck.  So far I have yet to find one child in her class.  Friend, acquaintance or even someone she doesn't know.  How can it be that most of her friends have one teacher, a few another and not one has her teacher.  I'm heartbroken for her.  Probably because I had such a hard time making friends.  She's not like me so I'm forever grateful but I feel panic for her.  Not one of her girlfriends are in her class.  How can that be?!  I've check with over a dozen parents.  I'm holding my breath because I know (praying, begging and pleading) there will be friends she loves in the class I just don't have their contact information.  Plus, she's good at making new friends.  It just sucks that they kept most of her closest friends together without her.  It's funny because I know this is sometimes done if kids are a distraction to themselves and others.  However, she's not like that. My girl is definitely a talker (like her mom and brother) but she's respectful.  All of her teachers have said she has the best manners, follows directions to a T and always willingly helps others.  She is praised for setting a good example.  Sigh.  I know she's going to be fine.  But it sucks.  I feel like she's being punished for being good.

So,there are my crazy, somewhat unfounded worries for the new school year.  I just needed to get them out of my head so I can breath a bit easier.  I'm just praying now the teachers are good and are the right fit for my kids.  I've heard a few stories that worry me a bit but I'm going to not judge ahead of time.  It's hard but I'm going to go in with no preconceived notions. Positive thinking for a positive school year. Nor will I share any of these fears, not a one with my children.

I have worked on pumping them up.  Exciting new classes.  Meeting new friends while reconnecting with old.  New challenges and lots of fun.  Focusing on the positives...for them and myself.

Am I alone in new school year fears?  Please share yours or your child's.  How do you handle them?

School's out for Summer

Woohoo!  School's out for Summer!  No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers DIRTY looks!  My mom use to always sing this after our last day of school.  Oh the memories!

I'm so happy third grade is over for my son.  It's been a year full of more downs than ups.  He was in a collaborative class this past year.  It's a setting with a regular ed and special ed teacher.  My son is hearing impaired but his grades were (for the most part) on level.  Unfortunately, the class was chaos with 26 kids in a small classroom.  Plus 2 teachers and 2 aides.  To make it worse, the special ed teacher was running the class rather than doing her job of supporting the IEP (special ed) kids.  Wonderful teacher when she did her job.  Frustrating more often than not.  It was brought to my attention LAST week that Goalieboy was seen rushing through his in class assignments.  When graded, he had answered most of the questions incorrectly, therefor failing.  Hello, it took this long to discover it?!  Am I wrong in being upset? Most of the papers  (especially this last quater) he was bringing home were in the 73-62 range.  He redid the worksheet he rushed though.  How do you think he did then?  One wrong!  *Sigh*  With 4 (count them...4!!) teachers in that class, someone couldn't have caught on months ago?  Especially when he's participating in class and is seemingly understand the lessons. I was baffled because when we would review the sheets (he brought home) he knew most of the correct answers.  I will be addressing this first thing next year with his new teachers.  It's upsetting.  While it is his fault for not taking the time to do the work properly, he is 8.  It's also documented that he has trouble focusing and is easily distracted.  Hoping next year will be better in this area.

We gave all the teacher's chocolates. 

All the teachers (and aides) received handwritten notes from the kids.  I wrote a personal one for Little Bee's teacher and Goalieboy's Hearing Impaired teacher.  They were both fantastic!

These are for Goalieboy's Hearing Impaired teacher.  She was wonderful!

Little Bee, on the other hand, had a fantastic year with an AWESOME teacher!  We are going to miss her greatly.  I'm so sad she will not be in our building next year.  My daughter asked for her email and home address so we can write to her.  It will keep them connected and she will benefit from the writing experience.

Little Bee's teacher also got flowers with her chocolates.  She is the type of teacher every child should have.  She inspires learning.

Now we are going to kick back, relax and enjoy our summer!

How to request a teacher

I want to start by saying, I am not a teacher or a school administrator. Also, I know a lot of schools discourage or disallow parents to request a particular teacher for their child.  In our school, it is definitely discouraged but I've never been told my letter would not be taken or considered.  A lot of schools notify parents of their child's new teacher at the end of the school year.  Not our school.  We get an official letter from the school about 2 weeks before classes start.  I find this hard on the kids and some think about it all summer...who their teacher will be and who is in their class. It's better for everyone if it's presented at the end of the school year.  This way both teachers and students can prepare themselves for the start of the new year better.

Since my son's unfortunate experience with his first grade teacher, I have written the principal a letter asking her to consider certain teacher for my children.  The principal is the one that makes the decision in our district on where a child is placed.  Personally, I have a problem with this because I feel their current teachers (hopefully) know them best and can recommend the teacher that would be best for them.

Don't hesitate to write your school a letter concerning next year's teacher if there's a particular teacher you do (or don't) want for your child.  Always start out with a nice, warm greeting.  Mention positive things about the school year in general.  Not your child's class but the school.  Principals want to know that you feel they are doing a good job.  In my letter I wrote how my children enjoyed things such as: P.A.R.P, concerts, book sales and field day (the first one EVER!).  I spoke about my son's participation in Student Government and Ecology Club.  I think they like to hear of positive experiences with school clubs and activities.

After this you can ease into the main reason you are writing.  Speak to her/him about your child's learning.  Write about their learning style. Feel free to give examples.  Then, you can approach her with the idea of a particular teacher or teaching style.  I talk about my children's learning style and which teachers I feel match up well with them because of how they teach.  Our school is large, approximately 500 children.  I know that it is not possible for our principal to know each child on a personal level as far as their learning style.  I believe she knows each child by sight and hopefully (maybe) even by name, but I can't expect more.  I think if you're concerned about your child getting put into a class that is not appropriate you need to speak up.  Principals want their students to flourish.  It makes them look good, for one thing.  And many, love "their' kids and want them to thrive.

My letter spoke about my daughter.  I didn't write one for my son, as we've agreed he will be in a collaborative class next year.  We only have one collaborative class per grade.  So, it's a given who his teachers will be (though I have a dilemma there as well...to be addressed later).  I wrote that she has flourished this year with her current teacher.  I explained that she is a student who is eager to learn, catches on quickly and thrives on new challenges.  She needs a teacher who will push her boundaries.  The teacher I felt that was best suited for her (and who my son had) won't be in our school next year.  I expressed my sadness over this.  Then I spoke of another teacher who's teaching style is similar to her's.  A bonus for us is that I heard her kindergarten teacher will be splitting the class with this teacher.  He is truly wonderful.  My daughter LOVES him!  He is great with all the kids.  His specialty is reading collaborative.  He often splits half day kindergarten and half day reading collaborative.  Next year he will be teaching second grade instead.  They have a strong learning bond with mutual respect and admiration.  I pointed all of this out.  I truly believe that putting a student with a teacher they thrived with in the past is perfect.  Why mess with something that has worked.

Never be pushy.  Do NOT tell her that you are demanding your child be put into a certain class.  Always, present another choice.  This will not get  you what you are looking for.  I did not get the first teacher I requested for my son two years ago. However, I did get my second choice.  This turned into a godsend.  The other teacher's class had a lot of distracting students that year.  My son, who is can't focus and is a distraction himself wouldn't have done as well. 

Also, if there is a teacher you don't want your child to have write about it diplomatically.  Hopefully you can present it in a way that you can avoid mentioning the actual teacher.  If Mrs. X is a yeller you can write that your child responds best to teachers who are soft spoken, etc.  If there's a student that is harassing/bullying your child you should bring it up in this letter and ask that they please not be placed together.  If occurrences have been documented, it will make your request almost a guaranteed.  I let my children fight their own battles for the most part.  However, I speak up and write the teacher a note or call the school when it's gone to far.  Thankfully I have only had to do this twice in 5 years.  I ask to be kept in the loop on how the situation was resolved.  If it becomes a continual problem I would ask that they not be placed in the same class the following year.

I hope this is helpful, especially to parents new to this situation.  I never thought I'd be one of "those" parents but I have no regrets.  First grade taught me to stand up for my child and fight (the right way) for their needs.  My son was lost in his first grade class.  Too many kids with the same issues (distractions, focusing, talkative,etc) were put into the class.  My son was lost but "just" got by.  He went from loving school to hating it that year.  His teacher had no control.  I ended up requesting that he be put by her desk so he would be forced to stay on task.  He did better after that, but by then the damage had been done.

I've learned...advocate for your kids.  Make sure they are in the right learning situation for them.  The brightest student will get by but not thrive in the wrong learning environment.

Huh? Huh? What?!

My son, Jacob, is 8.  He has minor hearing loss and tinnitus (ringing in the ears).  It's been a long road to get him diagnosed and we're still not finished.  Here's his story.
He was a cute and happy baby.  As a toddler his speech came slowly but not noticeably slow.  As a mom, I worried because while he was talking he wasn't following the typical "two word sentences at two" and "three word sentences at three" sentences.  It also seemed like if he couldn't see your face then he was less likely to hear or understand what you were saying.
He started preschool at three and in January during parent/teacher "conferences" the lead prek teacher let me know that she too felt that he was having some hearing issues.  She said that when she spoke to him ,many times he did not respond unless she got down at his level where he could see her speaking.  She believe he was reading lips.  My mother and I were thinking the same thing at that point.  While he did well in class, he did have trouble at times getting along with the other kids because he couldn't always understand what they were saying to him.  At that point, I wish the teacher had given me guidance on what I could do.  To this day I'm upset that I didn't have the information then that I have now.  He could have had speech intervention and such before starting elementary school.
He had his first (double) ear infection that spring (2006) and that started the ball rolling.  Unfortunately, has rolled very slowly.  He didn't get enough infections to qualify to have tubes but we noticed things still weren't right.  Ironically, even after I told the elementary school, he passed their hearing screening for kindergarten.  I still don't understand how and am baffled.  Thank God for a speech teacher that heard him talking in the hallway because she heard his speech problem and pulled his teacher aside to discuss it.  I had spoken to his teachers and they were aware of his situation.  Both his teachers were understanding and vigilant.  It helped that one teacher had a special ed background and had a nephew with hearing loss.  The other had a grandchild that was deaf.  So, the teacher promptly called me and we discussed him going into speech.  I was ecstatic.  The speech teacher took it upon herself to get him into the program without an IEP.  She had a spot and insisted that he be put into it.    I will always be grateful to her. 
By that point we had found an ENT that was tracking the fluid in Jacob's ears.  It was determined that his hearing was being effected by the fluid never draining and becoming stagnant.  This took 6 months of documentation so that the insurance company would authorize the surgery.  He had his first one in January 2008.  He had his adenoids removed and tubes put in.  He had a second surgery in April 2009 to replace the tubes.  Finally, in July 2010 the tubes were removed.
During all this he was being tested by an audiologist at the ENT's office.  The results always showed minor hearing loss.  Armed with this evidence I was able to secure an IEP for Jacob in Jan. 2009.  I needed it for him to continue speech and get preferential seating and such in the classroom.  The start of first grade was a nightmare because he didn't have either.  I feel that first grade was a year of fighting for him, especially since he was in a classroom where the teacher had no real control of her students.  It was a very rough year and he lost a lot when it came to reading, spelling, comprehension and overall behavior.  To this day, I believe it effects him.  I wish we could do that year over, especially with another teacher.
The IEP has definitely helped.   I send in a personal note to the teacher(s) at the beginning of each year and we discuss details at parent/teachers conferences.  Last year we changed audiologists because we needed more detailed reports and information for our CSE (Committee for Special Education) meetings.  With her help and that of a friend with special needs children I was able to get the school district to pay for auditory processing testing.  Unfortunately, we had to go this route because our insurance does not cover these tests. The testing has pinpointed exactly where his hearing loss is and that he also has tinnitus.  We can not confirm auditory processing because of the hearing loss but signs of it are there.  The audiologist said my son was the hardest patient she has ever tested in her 20+ years of experience.  Many times he would test false/positive.  The testing took 4 sessions because of this.
The good news, is that he is finally authorized for an FM unit.  This device brings the teachers voice closer to him.  She wears a small mic and he has a small wireless ear bud (similar to a hearing aid).  The districts Hearing Impaired Teacher set him up with it last week.  Unfortunately, for some reason, his teachers have yet to start using it.  So, I emailed her and she will be in his classroom today.  Hopefully, that will be resolved.
Our new fight now is hearing aids.  The audiologist said that she would not necessarily aid everyone with his range of hearing loss but because of the tinnitus and his attention span she wants to test it.  Most insurance companies cover up to fifty percent of hearing aids.  Ours does not cover anything.  The aids cost approximately $4,000.  We don't have that kind of money., especially since I am out of work.  I ache inside that we can't buy them and I feel like a horrible mother.  The audiologist mentioning the possibility of renting some from her to see if they help and that's the route we may take.  If they work, we still have to figure out the financials.  This is a tough situation and we want to do what's best for our son, while keeping our family afloat financially.  I don't envy any parent in this situation.
The hardest thing, besides the obvious, is that his hearing loss or speech problems are not noticeable.  Many people would never realize it unless they were told.  He is one of those children that can easily fall through the cracks of the educational system if we don't advocate for him.  Winter seems to be his enemy and there are many days, like today, where he is constantly saying, "Huh?  Huh?  What!".  I have to remember, as do his teachers, that as frustrating as these moments are for us, it is worse for him.  The same goes with his schooling.  Math comes easy to him, if it doesn't include word problems.  And reading and spelling can be a nightmare.  This is all because he does not hear words, especially word endings, properly.  He has to work harder than many of his classmates.  He doesn't want to and let's be honest, what kid wants to put in extra time with school work.
So, our battle (his and ours) rages on.

It could have been very traumantic

Yesterday my daughter had a bad experience at school.  It could have been very traumatic.  However, it was handled just the right way by her para, teachers and principal.  I'm so thankful.
Here's what happened....
I'm attempting a small nap before I have to be at the school for parent buddy reading for my son's class.  It's a little after 1:30 and my phone rings.  I almost ignored it but a quick glance told me it was the school calling.  My first thought was that it was the nurse calling...I seem to here from her a few times a month.  So upon picking it up and readied to hear about something that happened in gym class or recess and wondering which child it happened to this time.  Boy was I wrong.  It took me a moment to realize I was not speaking to the nurse but to the principal.  That cleared the cobwebs really quick.  Sad, isn't it that I don't worry so much about the nurse's calls.  It's always a minor bump, tummy or ear ache that can be handled rather easily and as I've said, those calls have become almost common place.  But no, it was the principal and I was instantly alert and assuming it had to do with my son.  Not because he's a bad boy but because he's older and more likely to get in some kind of minor trouble, not that he's ever been to the Principal's office before.  He knows that would be the end of his life as he knows it.  No the call was about my daughter....feisty, sweet, delicate DD. 
This information made me even more alert, if possible.  She told me that she wanted to let me know about a situation that happened during lunch.  One of her male classmates crawled under the table and grabbed her private area.  The child was dealt with by the principal.  She said she spoke with my DD and she is okay.  She had the para bring her into her office and sit with her while she talked with her.  She wanted to make sure she was alright and not traumatized.  Her feeling was that she was initially traumatized by the fact that she had to go to the Principal's office to speak with her.  She was so scared that she was in trouble.  The principal did a good job in letting her know that she didn't do anything wrong and that she was concerned about what happened.  We both agreed she should stay in school so that she could go about her normal routine, especially since she seemed okay.
I picked her up less than 2 hours later and she seemed fine.  We waited to talk about it until my son was up in his room doing his homework.  I felt it would be more comfortable for her to talk about it with me in private.  So, we snuggled up on the couch and had a chat.  She told me she didn't know why he went under the table and did it.  She said he squeezed her hard and it hurt so she started crying.  She said he also did it to the boy next to her but not so hard and he didn't say anything.  Her para came over to find out what was wrong when she saw her crying.  She handled it so good.  I think what hurt her most is that it was one of her friends that did it.  This boy has had a crush on her since at least January and for a while she had a crush on him too.  They still make each other cute pictures and play together while we wait for my son to get out of class (they release the kg kids first at a different door).  I think she's confused on why he would do that to her and I have a feeling she's going to ask him why point blank today.  She's that kind of girl.  I think it would've been a lot more traumatic if it had been someone who wasn't a friend and if the para and principal had handled it differently.  I'm so thankful.
I waited until after the kids had gone to bed to tell my husband about it.  I was so worried he'd freak out.  I'm still amazed at how calm he was.  He put it in perspective and understood it was an immature 5 year old that was dealt with afterwards.  So, hopefully this is the end of that and life moves on easily.  I'm glad we've had the no touching talk with our children and they understand that no one can touch them their and they need to tell someone. It was all handled well.