Tooth Fairy Nightmares

Holy shit, I almost forgot the tooth fairy was visiting last night! Is it just me or can she be a royal pain in the buttocks?! Seriously man, she's ruined many a nights sleep for me. Good thing I'm an insomniac and usually remember to take care of it before its too late.

This time it took 3 (yes 3!) nights to get it right. It fell out at the dinner table when Little Bee was eating a hot dog. She begged to take it next door to show grandma and grandpa. She brought it back 5 minutes later only to realize she totally forgot to show grandpa. So, back next door it went. We didn't realize until bedtime the tooth did not make the return trip. Little Bee begged to go get it but I was firm in my no.

Mean mommy, right? She didn't understand that she was in her pjs and it was dark out. Wasn't happening. She even tried batting her eyes at me. I'm impervious to that trick. Nice try chicky.

The next morning she went next door bright and early to get it. I foolishly assumed she had put it in her room, perhaps under her pillow.

Picture this....
Next morning. She comes down to eat breakfast. Halfway through she announces she forgot to see if the tooth fairy left her any money. Oh fuck! Was the first thing to come to mind. I had totally forgotten. A string of curses flew through my head. Dammit! Shit! How the heck was I getting out of this mess?!

I made small talk as my brain raced to find a solution. I decided my best bet was to head upstairs as if I was going to use the bathroom. I silently stopped by my purse and pick up the loot. Her room is next to the bathroom so I figured I could tiptoe carefully in, palm the tooth and leave the money behind.

Easy peasy, right? Wrong! I was sweating bullets. That tooth wasn't to be found. I checked under the pillows, threw back the bedding, ransacked the top of her dresser and the top drawer. Fuck! Nothing. I finally gave up, tiptoed back into the bathroom (our house is old and you can hear EVERYTHING) and innocently called out..."Where'd you put your tooth honey? I'll see if she left you anything.". Why couldn't this fairy be real? I wouldn't be ready to lose it at that moment.

She told me on her bookcase. I had checked there but I checked again. Still nothing. "Are you sure?" I know I had to be sounding desperate. She wanted to come up but I told her she had to finish her breakfast. I double, triple checked everywhere before giving up and trudging defeatedly back downstairs. Obviously this was a battle I wasn't going to win. I figured I'd play the "tooth fairy was extra busy last night and she'll be here tonight." trick. I hate that one. Causes too many questions.

She charged upstairs once she was done. But guess what? She couldn't find it either. Great. Now what was I going to come up with to appease a 7 year old. Where was that stupid tooth hiding? I knew if couldn't have grown feet and walks away. She looked high and low. Then she decided to check downstairs. She swore then that the put it on top of the cabinet. Nope, not there.

Thank goodness she has an awesome mommy like me though because guess what? I found it. Where you may ask? On the floor right in front of said cabinet. It's a tiny thing so I'm amazed I seen it.

We immediately took it upstairs. I gave a little woven basket we typically use to put teeth in so I got it out of my room. The tooth went in, the lid went on and I put it on her bookcase. Now everything was good to go.

Until I almost forgot about it. Real swift Mom. I'm in bed trying to fall asleep, tossing and turning. Typically insomnia. All of a sudden out of the blue it hits me that I totally forgot the fairy was coming. I guess this was one time to be grateful for being restless.

I quietly slipped out of bed, grabbed the money and left the bedroom. No sense in waking the hubby. Quiet as a mouse I went into her room, removed the tooth and put the money inside. Something doesn't seen right though. Of course not. Nothings easy with this tooth. It's cursed I tell you. Inside the basket I see a small crumpled up piece of paper. Little Bee has a penchant for notes. I slip into the bathroom to read it. One side has a cute stick figure drawing of the tf (tooth fairy) and a smiley face. The other side says....Can I keep the tooth? Yes or No?

Are you kidding me?! Hell no! I've earned this dang tooth and I'm keeping it!

*****

By the way...She showed the note to Grandma and said, I don't know how she was able to lift that heavy pencil to circle No. Fairies are really tiny. She kills me! She's quite a funny character and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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