Parents Choose Your Friends Carefully

This public service announcement goes out to all moms and dads.  I'll direct it more to those with younger non-school age children.  If you're kids are in school then you probably know all about this:

Drama Mamas/Ghetto Freaks/Attention Whores/Know It Alls

Seriously, as an adult you know there are all types of people in the world.  But as a parent they are sometimes hard to avoid.  Also, they wear masks.  They draw you in with their appropriate parental prattle but watch out they're not who they seem to be.  It's just a sick game to them. 

Pay attention and be leery.  Not on the outside but on the inside.  For me, I had on rose colored glasses.  I should smack myself upside the head.  I've worked in retail management.  I've seen these types of parents.  I guess I just never associated them with parents I would be meeting when my kids started going to school. 

Preschool seemed normal.  I was also working full time so maybe I just got lucky and gravitated towards "normal" parents. *snicker*  No parent is normal.  Come on now, be honest with yourself.  We are not normal.  We're just more normal than others.  I guess I thought that elelmentary school would be the same but dang was I wrong!

Brace yourself.  I didn't realize how bad it really was.  To be honest, in the scheme of things it's not that bad but there are more out there than you think.  And as I said, they wear masks.  Each school has different types and some are more obvious than others.

I learned the hard way.  The summer my oldest went into first grade we moved closer to the school and he became a walker.  I was working less so I was able to become more involved.  Overall, it was a fantastic thing.  We had more time in the morning and after school together, no waiting out in inclement weather for the bus and I met some great parents at pickup.  The downfall, I got suckered by a few of said parents.

That year I made some mommy friends.  Some worked, some stayed home, some had a child with special needs and many were involved in the school.  We would hang out at the school playground chatting, have playdates at the park.  I got closer with a few and we hung out.  Seemed perfect.  But I was wrong.

Some of those so called friends were not what they presented themselves to be.  They were back stabbers, troublemakers and full of drama (a.k.a. drama mamas).  I had a real bad experience right before the end of school that year.  I learned the hard way.  The signals were there but I ignored them.  I won't ever do that again.

Know the saying, "Treat others the way you want to be treated"?  Well, observe those you want to be friends with.  How do they treat others?  Not just you.  Are they catty?  Do they whine and complain?  Do they harass the school, teachers, other parents?  Are they judgemental?  Do they bully others? Are they always building themselves up to look good?  If you answered yes to any of these be on alert.  I would say turn and run but sometimes that's not always the best idea either.  If you run, you could be the one at the other end of the drama.  My advice, be friendly without being too friendly.  Limit your socializing to school things and not outside of school

I got to "overhear" one drama queen yelling at another through the school fence.  I'm so glad both women's children were already in school at the time.  All I could hear was them calling each other names and going at it verbally.  Though they kept taunting each other to "bring it" like they were going to actuallly kick the others ass.  A bunch of hair pulling trash in my opinion.  I hate to pass judgement but when you are in your kids school yard talking trash then that's what you are.  Do you not have any self control?  No self esteem?  Please!  Pull it together.  Parents are supposed to be role models for their children.  There are children, teachers, parents and yes police around you.  Grow the heck up and act like a mature adult.  Don't talk your ghetto talk around innocent bystanders. Go beat eachother up where we can't see you.  You are a poor example to your children for even talking and acting like that (public place or not).

So, if you are ever suckered in by these types of parents walk away.  I wish I had paid attention to the signs.  One of those forementioned ghetto trash talking mamas use to be a friend of mine.  But I learned my lesson the hard way.  I'm sharing my advice with you.  Choose your "mommy/daddy" friends carefully.  If not, it could blow up in your face.  Or possibly, hit you there between the eyes.

Rink Research

This afternoon we spent scouting out an ice rink about an hour away from our house. Trying to weigh the pros and cons of my son playing hockey here in the fall.
Pros:
Parking lot is well paved with no holes
One rink dedicated to hockey all day
Vending machine for coffee if the snack bar is closed
Snack bar with variety and lots of seating
In house restaurant that looks nice
We can register for inhouse league last minute and he'll have a spot (gives us time to decide where we want to go)
Drive is mostly highway
Cost is in line with what ER can afford

Cons:
Hour drive
Rink is away from food, gas, and such
Not overly friendly and helpful
Lots of travel teams (more emphasise than in house)
Not sure how well lit lot is
Only one set of bathrooms

I think the pros outweigh the cons and I think this is where we will be if our rink doesn't reopen in Sept or if it does reopen but the majority of coaches and players don't return. We will adapt. They have lots of clinics, open skates and sticks and pucks so we will utilize it a lot over the summer. It's the best way to make an informed decision.
Wish us luck!

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Dollar Store Dilemma

As a reward for good behavior this week I decided to treat my kids to a visit to the dollar store.  When they were younger this was almost a weekly occurrence but as they've gotten old and gotten more "stuff" we've cut down on going.  We all know most of the toys there are cheaply made and break rather quickly (anywhere from minutes to weeks usually). I knew that they would thoroughly enjoy going and it would help cement the idea that listening and doing what you're told will pay off in unexpected ways. 
The kids were thrilled to hear I was taking them.  They even bypassed on the idea of going home to change out of their pajamas (it was pajama day at school).  I made it clear right up front why I was taking them and the fact that they could pick any one thing.  One thing and one thing only.
I have to say my son was understanding of the rules.  He promptly thanked me for the treat and never begged to buy more than one item.  My daughter only had to be warned once.  My reply was this, "If you ask again you will get nothing so don't ask.".  She knew I meant it so that was the end of the never ending begging that sometimes occurs when I'm out at the store with them.
My daughter is fairly adapt at going through the store and figuring out what she wants.  She will pick a few choices, debate them and then chose.  And that is that.  She use to waffle more but has really amazed me the last year in being able to do this.  My son however, will continue to change his mind and it drives me crazy.  He will walk around the store 5, 10, 20 times picking things up and discarding them.  Over and over and over again.  I start to slowly lose my mind and my patience.  I now have to give him a time limit or this can go on for over 30 minutes and he starts to annoy himself with his indecision. 
Today it was between a few different things.  A cash tray with money, a paddle ball, a foam fling type toy, bakugun type toy or a kite.  Back and forth, back and forth.  He continued to narrow it down.  At first the kite wasn't in the running because he didn't see it hidden in its display by an endcap. It was down to the cash tray and the bakugun type toy.  He asked me to put them behind my back, shuffle them around and then he'd pick a hand.  He picked left and it was the cash tray.  This was the first thing he was drawn to anyways so it worked for me.  He's learning how to subtract dollars and cents in school and he thought this would be a fun way to help him learn.  I'm all for that considering he "hates" to "learn".  His words, not mine.
Then he saw the kites right before we made it to the check out.  Dang!  So close, yet so far!  He picked 2 out and we went through the motions of me putting them behind my back and him picking a hand again.  It was a go again.  Until...  I let him know that we could only fly it at the nearby park because our yard is too small.  That put him into a tizzy.  After settling down we came to an agreement he came up with an I can live with.  We got the cash tray today and if he's good all next week we'll go back and get the kite.  Hopefully by then the weather will be a warmer since it's been in the 20's all this week.
In the end everything worked out.  I think these excursions teach kids about making (appropriate) choices.  It also includes logic, problem solving and decision making.  They're definitely learning things without even realizing it.